My Immortal...

 You used to captivate me

By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me…

Immortal-

Not subject to death: our immortal souls

Never to be forgotten; everlasting: immortal words

One whose fame is enduring: President Lincoln

Perpetual; lasting; constant: an immortal enemy

Butterflies and Roses for April

I can remember her flip flopping in the door from work or school and laying on the couch. Asking her how her day was and listening as I get a blow by blow description of her day. She always sat in the kitchen on the stool and watched me cook and chatted about anything. She had a great love of baking when Bill and I would go out, making cookies as a treat for us when we would return. She would bring me a large caffeine free diet coke nearly every time she came home at night despite the last hour. She loved to give gifts and cards and would often bring me flowers for no reason. She had a beautiful singing voice. She loved her piano and usually chose to practice after 9pm at night. The notes sit silent now and make me sad. These memories are immortal in my mind.

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase…

. Her great love of her cell phone and chatting with friends. When she would receive a call she would bolt for the back door and go sit on the outside swing. There she would sit, rock and chat for hours not matter how hot or cold it was outside. She enjoyed MySpace, FaceBook and Instant Messaging; any way that she could keep in contact with old and new friends. She would do anything for anyone. A friend’s son was in the hospital and she spent hours and hours there, taking them food and drinks. She would receive a call or text and be out the door for a midnight movie. These memories are immortal in my heart.

Looking at the lights

Her tears of total fear and panic as she heard the words aggressive cancer, fight for her life and very serious. Her brave nature as she faced the most painful testing head on. The terror in her face as the chemo drugs began to run into her veins for the first time. How she told me to call the salon it was time to shave her head. Her broken heart as many of her friends left her. How thrilled she would be to have her friends that remained come visit. These memories are immortal in my dreams.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me…

How beautiful she looked in her blue ball gown as she arrived in her limo. The laughter as we lit the sparkler in the backyard later that evening. The smiles as we celebrated her 21^st birthday with all the princesses. Her tears of joy and great love as Violet was born. The sounds of her coughing and being winded as she felt she could not breathe. The nights I worried in ICU as she became delusional from lack of oxygen. Hearing her voice for the last time before the vent; seeing a small tear fall from her eyes and not knowing what it meant. My face as I saw my beloved Heather for the last time lying in her ball gown in the casket. These memories are immortal in my heart, mind and dreams.

 You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me...

No, I am not saying that I believe Heather is an immortal. I am using the definition of never to be forgotten. As long as one person remembers Heather or walks by her grave and wonders about her she will be immortal. I believe her soul lives forever with God in His heaven. (where and whatever that may be-I haven’t been to see it have you?) I know this song is a bit different. I am not turning into a gothic rocker. I just like this one song. I listen to all genre of music; for the most part easy rock, oldies and country. But If I hear a song and it moves me I don’t care who sang it. I do my best grieving thru music. It touches me greatly.

Waiting 25 minutes for the lights to come on..

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along…

My Immortal~Evanescence

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5anLPw0Efmo

Critics vary in terming Evanescence a rock or metal band, but most identify them as some form of gothic band: Evanescence was originally promoted in Christian stores. Later, the band made it clear they did not want to be considered part of the Christian rock genre.