Sunday, August 24, 2014

Not Over This "Thing" Yet?...

What I never expected was how I would feel driving up to Wendy’s graduation. I did not expect the overwhelming feelings of grief, loss and sadness to hit me like a boulder. It had been 5 years wasn’t I over this “thing” yet? It was even harder to sit and listen to the memorial presentation to the mother of the daughter who was killed when a driver came thru the wall of the PIMA massage school last year. They talked about Lacey and presented her mother with a shadow box with a framed cap, tassel, gown, certificate, and pins that Lacey would have received that night had she been there.

The night Heather died her entire PIMA medical class came to visit her in ICU and after she died three instructors from PIMA came as well. But I was not invited to the graduation, nor was I given a cap and gown with a tassel or a certificate with Heather’s name on it. As I sat there and listened the slap across my face began to sting and sting hard. But it had been 5 years wasn’t I over this “thing” yet?

I kept telling myself don’t say anything “let it go” but it did no good. My mind kept saying that an injustice to Heather had been done and I as her mother needed to make it right. I deserved to have all those things too. Lacey and Heather had attended PIMA the exact same amount of time, 3 weeks. I excused myself from the family and went to speak with Mark a director of PIMA. I explained how hard it was to drive up and see the girls in cap and gown, what I would never ever get to see Heather do, but even harder was the presentation of what I wanted to have of Heather’s too. PIMA was her goal, her dream and she was beyond thrilled and excited to be going, looking forward to a very long career. But once again, it had been 5 years and wasn’t I over this “thing” yet?

 I was shocked and thrilled to receive an email form Mark that same night telling me that Erin, his assistant would be helping me make my memorial shadow box for Heather and that he expressed his sadness and was very sorry that 5 years ago Heather and I had been overlooked. Mark was not the director there at the time Heather died. Erin and I began working on the shadow box and I stated I only wanted the cap, not the entire gown, her certificate, tassel and her honor cords for perfect attendance. At the last minute I decided that I wanted to add Heather’s PIMA badge ID to the shadow box. While I love seeing it and holding it I was afraid someday it would be misplaced. By placing it in the shadow box it will be safe forever. I was so moved when Erin emailed me to say she had found the tassel with 2010 on it, the year she would have graduated. The smallest detail she had seen to and it was clear that while it had been 5 years, no one was over this “thing” yet.

I was thrilled to finally meet Erin and pick up the completed shadow box on Friday. I also met the campus director Bill, who expressed his sincere sympathy and gratitude that I spoke up and they could make this for me. I was moved to tears as they took the cardboard off and revealed the finished box. The certificate has her name on it….the actual date of the graduation and the tassel has 2010. Heather Nicole Coombe would have graduated from PIMA medical with highest honors and perfect attendance in Medical Coding and Billing on Saturday, January 30, 2010. She would have worn the cap and gown with the tassel hanging from her cap and proudly walked across the stage to get her certificate. I have no doubt when she came down the stairs she would have blown me a kiss like she did at her graduation from high school. Looking at the shadow box removes the 5 years and I realize I will never be over this “thing,” ever.

Mama always said...that beginnings are scary, 
endings are usually sad, 
but it's the middle that counts the most. 
Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. 
Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too... 

Monday, August 18, 2014

What Is A Ring...

What is a ring? It can be an engagement ring, wedding ring or just a simple ring you enjoy wearing. I have always had several right hand rings that I wear at any given different time. When the girls turned about 14 years old I began building their jewelry collections with real gold, diamonds or gemstone items. Mostly I gave them rings and necklaces for birthdays, graduations and other special things. When Heather had cancer I bought her jewelry to mark her milestone events.
Snooks feeding Babes a bottle

 When Snooks was born I went to Helzberg jewelers to buy an Amethyst to make her birth in February. Christmas 2008 I had promised Heather a piece of jewelry form the store but she didn’t know what she wanted then so she went with me to the mall to take a look around. I found an amethyst heart pendant that I bought for Snooks and of course Heather found a ring. She fell in love with it because she felt it looked like the ring that Bella wears in Twilight and she had it sized to fit her first finger. It happened to be a amethyst which made it all the more appealing to her and along the sides were two peridot. Peridot was the birth stone for her grandma Coombe and that was the final selling point.

a view of the Heather-Bella ring
When Heather died I took her ring and had it sized to me and then bought Jenn and Wendy a matching ring for them. We call them our Heather, Bella rings. The ring is in yellow gold and not my favorite as I prefer white gold but it does have a very antique look about it.
the ring on my tattooed arm between Snooks and Babes
Since Babes (aka Ellie, or Elinor) has been born I have been looking for a ring that has both Snooks and Babes birthstones in them. Nothing I have found do I like very much. I have been looking at Mother’s rings and they are very plain and simple and blah. Late last night it dawned on me when I was talking to Bill that I loved how the green of Peridot and the purple of Amethyst looks so great together as it did with the ring that ….
mimi with Snooks and Babes-My Heart!!
YES!!! The Heather- Bella ring is both Violet’s and Elinor’s birthstones together. I had it all the time. I have been shocked and floored that the ring that Heather picked just happened to have both babies birthstones and that all us girls have one, just one more way that I know that Aunt Missy is watching from heaven above over her favorite nieces. How amazing that heather picked a ring that just happened to have an amethyst and a peridot and she picked it five years ago. So not like the ring wasn’t special before but now I have my Snooks, Babes and Heather all together. More 10th power.

Friday, August 15, 2014

The Number Ten...

The number ten is an even natural number following 9 and preceding 11. Ten is the base of the decimal numeral system, but far the most common system of denoting numbers in both spoken and written language. The reason for the choice is ten is assumed to be that humans have ten fingers.

The Ten Commandments
Tithe 1/10th of income
Ten plagues inflicted on Egypt
There are 10 generations between Adam and Noah and 
then 10 from Noah to Abraham
10 years is called a decade
Ten is the smallest number whose status as a possible friendly 
number is unknown
10 plays a role in the atomic number of neon, the number of hydrogen atoms in butane and the number of space-time dimensions in some superstring theories.

So what is so important about the number 10? Someone could have 10 cats, 10 kids or ever 10 friends, but to me the number 10 means so much more than that. In December 1987 I had a beautiful baby on the 10th of that month. It was a Thursday and she barely made it on the 10th being born at 11:52PM. The 10th of December has been a very special day since 1987 and it has never stopped being a special day.
here is am in all my glory
Miss Violet Rayne made her debut on February 10th, 2009. At the time I did not think much about it being the 10th day as I was so thrilled she was here. For the last four years the 10th of February has come and we have celebrated in grand fashion her birthday.
Mimi kisses are the BEST
Here we are in August 2014 and baby Ellie was to make her grand debut around the end of the month. Jenn had not been feeling really good and last Friday, the 9th began being able to time contractions. As time went on it looked like this was the real thing and we might have a baby soon. As I was walking and thinking and killing time waiting to hear it dawned on me that the next day was August the 10th. The 10th!!! Really? Could this all be happening this way? Was this a sign from Aunt Missy that she was watching us from heaven? Yes I believe it was. 
I am so beautiful
Jenn was very discouraged when she found out it was false labor and she would be going home, but them Ellie’s heart rate rose too high as well as Jenn’s blood pressure. An ultrasound revealed that Ellie did not have enough water around her and that the placenta had begun to shut down. This was not good and no one would have known had Jenn not been there at the time. It was decided she should stay and be induced right away. Now I knew that Baby Ellie would be born on the 10th just like Violet and Heather. Aunt Missy was keeping watch as baby Ellie did not tolerate labor very well and her heart rate kept dropping. 
Mimi, Ellie and Mom
Jenn progressed very rapidly and I am proud to announce that Elinor Sadie made her grand entrance into the world at 5:52PM weighing in at 5 pounds 12 ounces and 19 inches long. She had the cord wrapped around her neck twice and did not really want to breath at first. Baby and mom were kept an extra day at the hospital to make sure that everything was just fine with Ellie before she went home.
It is tough getting ready to go home
Aunt Missy would be thrilled to have her two nieces to spoil and love. I do know that both my granddaughters being born on the 10th is not an accident and it is a gift from Heather. The only other person in our family born on the 10th is Sunnie, Wendy’s husband. The 10th began as a special day and will always remain a special day. Thank you Aunt Missy for your Kisses sent form heaven.
3 generations, 2 sisters and 2 granddaughters Do you see the spot where one is missing? right between Jenn and Wendy? It is always there.

“You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.”