Mother's Day 2009

I am sorry to post these photo, however I feel they are very moving and beautiful and horrible all at the same time. It gets the point across that this is what I did 15 and 20 days before Mother's Day 2009. It is important to give you the full feel of the situation. Being that we all are very photo orientated it makes sense that we got the most moving photos ever imagined...

A Mother's Love-The day Heather died-April 20-2009

Moments before she died-Bill holding my hand, holding Heather's hand

This is 15 days before Mother's Day-I said goodbye to Heather

I honestly do not remember much about Mother’s Day 2009. I was still numb and in extreme shock at the events that had happened just 20 days earlier. It is not possible to lose your daughter 20 days before Mother’s Day and remember anything about the day or days leading up to it. I realize in looking back and talking with different people there are actual blocks of time when I don’t remember what I did or what happened.

For one year and 10 days I had been the sole care-giver for Heather and had been the guard dog for her health. I had been so busy for the 33 days in ICU that I had not even considered that Mother’s Day was around the corner. I was not really in the stores so I was clueless as to what was going on around me. For 33 days I had given everything I had and as suddenly as I was thrust into the role, it was over, just like that. No recovery no continued fighting it all just abruptly stopped.

I think we may have gone to Golden Corral for lunch but I honestly don’t remember a thing from that time or that day. I went back to the CaringBridge and found a few of my thoughts and I thought I would share those with you since I have no memory of the day:...

Well, the sights and sounds of Mother's Day are all around me. I can't get away from it. It is on TV, radio, newspapers and in all the stores. Yes, I am thankful that I still have 2 daughters, but I had 3 and I want 3. All 3!! Yes, I am being stingy and I want ALL my daughters to be here. I know, she is in a better place, she is whole and perfect, and that should all give me comfort. Well, it doesn't. It does not help the pain, the emptiness or the flat out I want her to walk through the door syndrome I am having. The fact of never hearing her voice, seeing her in person, what her life could have and should have been, the wedding and all the grand children she was to have is what we think about every minute of every day right now. Hard truth; but losing a parent is tough and a brother or sister is really rough, but losing a child..a part of your very being...there are no words to describe the pain and hurt. I heard once the following:

When you lose a parent you are called an orphan
When you lose a spouse you are called a widow/widower
When you lose a child, there is no name.....

So, coming to the day in which we honor our mothers for all that they do, how they love and care for us, sacrificing for their family. I am reminded that I did everything for Heather that a momy could do. I was her caregiver for a year and 10 days. I did my best and gave her 210% to help her overcome all the odds to give her the best outcome possible. Despite how hard things got, I never walked away or turned my back on her. I put her needs far above my own. I was “the Momy” and I did not let her down and I have no regrets. I hope that can be said about all mothers today, that at the end of the day, they gave their all to their family. My advice is to put away your issues and make things right before it is too late. Life is very, very short.

Wendy somehow lost her phone and we took a road trip to the mall to get a new one. I made a stop at the jewelry store. Heather had just bought an amethyst with peridot ring. (amethyst for Violet and peridot for Grandma Coombe) She had made it fit her first finger like Belle in Twilight. So, I took her ring and sized it to my first finger. Then I bought Jenn and Wendy one and they sized it to their first fingers. Imagine that...! Then I decided that since Heather had picked out her future engagement ring..it would make a great present to me for Mother's Day. She picked one called “Sophia”. So, yes..I bought an engagement ring for myself today. I showed Bill..he had no problem. I did make him cry..I did not mean to ..just one of those moments. Right now we are getting lots of jewelry...next pieces will be a thumb print of Heather's made into a pendent.

Actual ring, cannot capture it's real beauty

Brilliantly set to make the most of each diamond's firepower, the Sophia engagement ring is at once classic and unique-just like her! From the Helzberg Signature Symphonies Beethoven Collection. 18 karat white gold engagement ring with princess cut and round brilliant cut diamonds weighing approximately 1 carat TW.

Top view

Side view

 God looked around His garden,
And found an empty place.
He then looked down upon the earth,
And saw your tired face.
He put his arms around you,
An lifted you to rest;
God's garden must be beautiful-
He always takes the best.
He knew you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain;
He knew you would never get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough
And hills were hard to climb
So He closed your weary eye-lids, and whispered,
"Peace be thine."
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone,
For a part of us went with you,
The day God called you Home.
~Author Unknown~