Mother's Day 2006

I can't imagine, any greater fear
Then waking up, without you here,
And though the sun, would still shine on,
My whole world, would all be gone,
But not for long...

Mother’s Day is always a very tricky holiday for me. I think it always has been but I don’t remember when it became such a blah day for me. Maybe it was when I was 12 and I had a staph infection and I got a shot, or that same day Norma’s ex-husband decided to take her boys, or the fact that my Daddy drug me out to the cemetery and Norma was upset about it. That was a very bad day for being Mother’s Day. Lots of tears and fighting.

Many, many years ago I was thrilled to be a mother for the first time and celebrate my first Mother’s Day. I held a tiny baby that day and was so happy to have a baby of my own. When Heather came along I was ever more tickled to have two daughters. Then Wendy was dedicated to the Lord on Mother’s Day at church. I was bummed because I thought for sure I was going to get the youngest mother award. You remember; who is the oldest mother, who is the youngest mother and which mother had the most kids. It was a tradition at church every Mother’s Day Sunday along with the Proverbs 31:10-31 preaching of the virtuous woman.

We had attended a church on Mother’s Day where all the mothers had to stand and we sang faith of our mothers…and it was horrible. I can’t remember what the topic was but this was the only time they allowed a woman to preach the Sunday sermon. I remember walking out and feeling terrible. The message had gone on and on about good mothers and how they love their children. I knew I had been a good mother but it left a hurt in my heart because I have never been able to have a mother, real, adopted or step. That very Sunday Bill assured me I never had to attend church on a Mother’s Day Sunday again. And I never have.

Invitations-hand printed-not bad

I thought over the few days leading up to Mother’s Day I would share some past Mother’s Days with you. Bill had promised me many years before 2006 that we could renew our wedding vows. When Bill’s mom died in October 2005 we began thinking of a time right now to renew them. He had one idea and I had a totally different idea. Of course my idea won and it turned into a full blown wedding; wedding dress, cake, ceremony, men in tuxes and a formal dinner afterwards. We planned to include the family in the wedding. The whole family had been together for a funeral and I wanted to have a happy occasion to bring everyone together.

Heather and Karee with Khloe hugging a bear

With that being decided the date needed to be set. Jenn was graduating from Mesa Community College right before Mother’s Day. It was going to be the first Mother’s Day since Mom died and I began to think it would be nice to have the entire or as much of the entire family together as possible for that day. It might help the grieving process. So the renewal was set for the Saturday before Mother’s Day, May 13, 2006. We had a graduation party for Jenn and kind of a rehearsal dinner at peter Piper Pizza on Friday night. Everyone had come over for that and most everyone had gotten room at the same hotel for that night as well. It was a good time. Went to the pool later that evening, relaxed and visited with people.

Wendy lights the candle for the present

Three beautiful daughters

It wouldn't matter why we're apart,
Lonely minds or two stubborn hearts
Nothing short of God above
Could turn me away from your love
I need you that much

Perfect flower girl-check your basket, dump if any are left-check basket

Our three daughters would be standing up on my side, and Bill’s brother Steve and brother-in-law Rusty would be on his side. Our two nieces would be flower girls. This was their first time to be flower girls and they had 3 more jobs they were so good at it. We had a unity candle but it was not the two families it was the past, present and future. Bill’s sister, Bea lit the past candle while Wendy lit the present candle. Jenn read a poem then when we lit the candle for the future, Heather sang No Place That Far. The girls had never been involved with a wedding and Rusty had never worn a tux or been in a wedding.

Heather singing-was nervous-put her hand back to hold onto mine

Jenn reading poem

The day was hot for being May and the renewal was outside. It wasn’t terrible as we had some shade and fans, but for those in tuxes it was a bit warm. The best thing about the whole day was the cake. Everyone raved about the cake. The only thing I can say is that everything can be overlooked as long as the cake is good.

The cake-the topper was from our 1st wedding in 1983

Family and a few close friends headed off the Arizona Golf Resort for a private family buffet formal dinner. It was a glorious day. No, it was not our anniversary that date is September 10, it was not a milestone anniversary like 20 or 25 it was year 23. But it would be the last time almost the whole family would be together. In less than 3 years 3 members will be gone. I would not trade the day for anything in the world. We would never have been able to wait till our 25^th anniversary.

Heather and me striking a pose

Dad and his girls have some fun

We had no idea that in what seems like a very short amount of time things would take such a devastating turn. My thinking is that you should never put off doing something, life is way too short. We were all together and I think it helped everyone no feel the loss of Mom quite so much. For once I was happy with what I had planned for Mother’s Day and the reason behind it. It came together beautifully.

The last photo of nearly the whole family together-brother/niece missing

If I had to run, if I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers, 

just to climb a thousand walls,
Always know that I would find a way, to get to where you are,
There's no place that far

~Sara Evans~

Cousin Bud-died in June 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8F9LCu5PJU4

Heather and Uncle Rusty-Happy

 It just worked out that Heather and her Uncle Rusty walked out of the wedding together. They both seemed so happy and carefree at this moment. Little did we have any clue that they would walk out of life together 3 years later. Rusty died early Sunday morning April 19 and Heather died about 36 hours later on Monday evening April 20. When we went through the photos looking for the funeral slideshow we came across this photo from our renewal. It is such a powerful photo when you think that they walked out of the wedding together and walked out of life together. Who would have ever thought that. Rusty had breathing troubles, when Heather began having trouble breathing he was very worried about her and knew how she felt to gasp for air. This is how I picture the two of them...