Cemetery Caretaker of Sorts...

“The fence around a cemetery is foolish,

for those inside can’t get out and those outside don’t want in”…

~Arthur Brisbane~

Brandon died when he was 3 ½ months old, today is his birthday and he would have been 11 years old today. His mother moved and lives in downtown Phoenix and hopes that she can make it to visit him on his birthday and his death day. She had to count off the graves in this open area because he has no marker. She has never had enough money to be able to get a marker for her son. So in this open area today, there is a whirl-a-gig, some flowers and a stuffed puppy. I never knew there was anyone buried there. But I met his mom and now I will watch over Brandon and make sure that he is not just an empty spot in the cemetery. I really have never wished for lots of money, but today, I wish I had extra money to have been able to take her to the office and pick out a marker right then and there. My heart broke for this mother who summed up today that she should have been planning his 11^th birthday and not sitting in a cemetery with an unmarked grave.

It is amazing to me how much time I spend walking thru the cemetery nowadays. I know that to many it may seem very odd to say I spend time walking and looking at the markers in the cemetery. I also pick up flowers and set them back in vases and clean up any debris that is in the area. I have found many interesting stories out there. Many people have very “busy” markers, but it gives me an idea of who their loved one was. There are three that stand out very much in my mind.

One is a young woman that is in the wall of vaults. She had cancer and was pregnant. Shortly after giving birth she lost her fight. I was moved to see her photo of her ravaged body with almost no hair holding her newborn daughter. The ultimate sacrifice a mother can make…to give her life for the life of her child. I was saddened that the precious baby girl would not know the mother who loved her so much and gave her life so she could live. I felt sad that all her holidays will be with her mother in the cemetery.

There are two young men that died young. One appears to have had cancer. He had a very busy life with hunting and fishing and he loved motorcycles. He had many close friends and family that loved him very much. He was very close to the same age as Wendy. He has all kinds of bells, mementos and photos left to describe his life.The other young man I have no idea what happened to him, an accident or cancer. He is very close to the same age as Heather. There are lots of memorials and photos at his marker as well.

“There’s no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery,

 you can’t do any business from there”…

~Col. Sanders~

As I discovered that all cemeteries are not taken care of the same way, not all cemeteries allow treasures to be placed on the marker. I was reminded of this when I received a message about a new petition about a cemetery that had taken all the treasures out of the Babyland area. (For those who don’t know, most cemeteries have a Babyland-plots given for no cost to bury newborn babies that have died.) I was even more shocked to learn that this cemetery was in my home town of Farmington New Mexico and the very cemetery that Jo Beth is buried at. I immediately signed the petition and begged all of my FaceBook friends to do the same. I also learned that a longtime friend of mine, Sheila, buried her newborn son there as well. I am beyond appalled at the actions of the cemetery to remove the solar “nightlights” left so their babies won’t be in the dark at night, the toys and treasures that these grieving mothers have placed to remember their children. Oddly enough, Memory Gardens placed a letter to the editor and apologized for their actions. This is too little and way too late to erase the damage done.

BabyLand-a solace place for mothers to grieve

BabyLand is never touched-they use a portable weed cutter

I am getting to know all the “people” in Heather’s spot. I know when new flowers have been placed and when something is moved. I also go to “visit” the new people that arrive to see their age and name. It may seem very odd and weird but for some reason it feels right to me right now. Ashley’s tree has a wind chime in it. Bill untangled it and I check it every time I go out. I also ring it so I can hear it chime. Ashley’s flowers have not been changed in a long time. They are very faded and ratty looking. Tonight I took new flowers out and placed them at her grave. I know we are getting close to the 17 year mark of when she died. It was the last week of school and school used to go till first week of June. Really odd that Mrs. Lowry usually goes to the school for the end of year award ceremony. This year is was not able to be contacted. I am not sure what may have happened to her, but I will make sure Ashley’s grave has nice flowers for as long as I am out there. I am going to visit every day for a few weeks to see if Ashley’s mom comes to visit. I left her a note in the flowers so hopefully she will get it soon. Ashley’s marker only has the years and not the dates she was born and died.

Ashley's new flowers

Happy Memorial Day Baby!!

JoAnn’s Craft Store had flowers for 50% off this week so I went crazy and bought all kinds of beautiful flowers. I also bought some more metal stakes for the cemetery as well. I am trying to change out the things every month. Hopefully I can use these things for many years to come. The flowers with all the heat, sun and water during the summer will really take a beating. I also bought a garden shepherd’s hook to place out there so I can hang things like wind chimes and different wreaths. I also picked up rocks during my recent trip to St. Johns. I stopped at Hilltop Homestead-bill’s brother Steve’s house-and picked up rocks from their property. I showed Derek and Lara the rocks and Derek said I could take some from their place too. I am sharing the rock with Bill and the girls. All of us are free to do whatever we want to them. I am planning to paint mine, but others can just place them out there if they want to. Just nice to know that the rocks have a special meaning from the places they were taken from.

 Listen to the birds and all the sounds...so peaceful!!

“Running a cemetery is just like being President: 

you got a lot of people under you and nobody’s listening”…

~Bill Clinton~