Thursday, August 11, 2011

THE HELP....


"Friends are always considered a blessing,
But, on occasions, 
There may be those who are just a little extra special 
In their own way..."
 ~Betty White~

I have never been able to read very well. Part of the issue is due to the Evelyn Woods speed-reading program that was taught to me in the 3rd grade.  It taught us how to skip words and get the main point. I have a very difficult time reading out loud. I also think I am a bit dyslexic. I flip words most of the time. It was not till I was reading out loud to Jenn and Heather one day that I realized I had a problem. They were reading over my shoulder and asked me if I realized that I skipped words and made the wording my own. To read each word correctly was hard and very slow for me to do. I never realized that I did this and it was a problem for me.

Due to these issues I do not enjoy reading books. The idea of a 500-page book to read is overwhelming to me.  In 2007 I became hooked on audio books. It felt very good to me to be able to “read” books this way. I have “read” books I never dreamed of reading. For example the entire Harry Potter series, Twilight series, Around The World in 80 days, Peter Pan and The Nanny Diaries. I felt like the world of reading was finally in my reach. The problem is that these books are expensive on CD and then time consuming to record to the computer and put on my zen.

Imagine my shock when I went to the gym and decided that I wanted a Nook book reader. What in the world was I thinking to actually try to read a book. Well, I bought one and tried it out. So far to date I have officially read 7 books. I have found a new love of reading finally. My attention on the treadmill is very focused. I still skip and then make myself go back and read it the right way. But I feel I have overcome a huge problem for me with reading.

I have begun to read many different types of books that I would have never dreamed of reading. I look to see what is new and if there is a movie coming out I try to get the book and read it first. This is what I was able to do with the new movie THE HELP. I had no idea the memories and emotions that this book and movie would bring up for me.

I was born in 1965, this was right during the big civil rights movement. The big events such as Medger Evers, Martin Luther King and JFK had already happened before I was born. So I was just a kid and had no idea of segregation, colored people and civil rights. What I do know is I had a woman in my life that I loved very much. Her name was Mae Belle and she was my parents black maid.

My Daddy picked Mae Belle up 2-3 times a week early in the morning during the summer and every Saturday during the school year.. She cooked, cleaned and took care of me during this time. I remember her small flowered dresses, the white apron, her stocking or socks were slouch type around her ankles and she had slip on shoes. I knew she was black, but it didn’t matter to me.

Mae Belle was the only woman in my life at the time to care for me and make me feel important. She listened to me. Sometimes she brought her daughter and we would play together. She was happy and singing all the time. I loved the days when Mae Belle came because it meant for a small amount of time in my day I would be loved. My days were filled with spankings and abuse when she was not around. Mae Belle never raised her voice to me and she let me be a little girl. I really have no idea as to how old I was but I am thinking it was when I was 6-8 years old. Suddenly one day, she was gone. We just didn’t go to pick her up and she was not mentioned again.

My Daddy would take me most of the time to take Mae Belle home. But we had to do it before dark. Again, I was young and didn’t know why this was the done. She lived on the south side of Farmington on a street that had lots of little houses. They didn’t have grass in their yards, just dirt. Lots of kids, dogs and cats running around. I would be allowed to say hi to Mae Belle’s daughter sometimes but never allowed in her house.

THE HELP has left me with many questions. Questions that I will never be able to ask anyone. Both my adopted mother and father were only children. I had no aunts, uncles or cousins. Then I was an only (lonely) child. Jo Beth died when I was 9 years old and Jim died when I was 24 years old. I have no one left who knows my childhood. I cannot ask why we had a black maid, how much did she get paid and why did she suddenly disappear.

Yes, I have found my birth parents. I love my birth father very much. But, he has only known me since 2004. He does not have the memories and stories of my past, my childhood the way that parents do. I also have 9 half brothers and sisters. But I feel like an orphan. My life, my stories and my childhood memories are only the ones that I can recall in my own mind. I don’t know dates and places. I have bits and pieces. But for a time in my life, I had a black maid named Mae Belle and she loved me.

"I listened wide-eyed, stupid. 
Glowing by her voice in the dim light. 
If chocolate was a sound, 
It would've been Constantine's voice singing. 
If singing was a color, 
It would've been the color of that chocolate.”
~THE HELP~

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