Thursday, December 31, 2009

Fragile Resolutions...

This is our temporary home, it's not where we belong
Windows and rooms that we're passing through
This is just a stop on the way to where we're going
I'm not afraid because I know this is our temporary home..
Carrie Underwood~ Temporary Home

A Mother's reflection of 2009:

Life is good for one moment. In that moment all is right with the world, everyone is healthy, safe and happy. Hold on to those moments because things will come that will shake your world to the very foundation.

Heather had a survivor's personality. You know, those people in ship wrecks, plane crashes and concentration camps who fight to survive. She rolled with the punches, took everything that came her way, tried with all her might to overcome impossible odds a fighter to the very end and who's story inspire us.

I understand even better what it is to be willing to give up everything to save your child's life. Belongings, money, home, career, personal time, privacy, sleep, freedom, security and even my own life. Though I am willing to give up everything it is not enough to save, my baby, the one I love.

That the hardships of the past year and a half has taken a toll on my entire family. We are fractured, fragile and we are learning how to live as a family again without Heather. A frightened shadow of what we once were, trying to live a new life.

That God sends certain people into our lives when we need them most. Some become lifelong friends; some are those who we've lost touch with over the years and suddenly re-appear; a few were there in the moment of need and then move on just as quickly. Sometimes it is an encouraging word; through text or email, or simply knowing that someone, anyone cares at critical points. A caring gesture, a thought or word, or some small random act of kindness can carry tremendous weight.

Heather at Varsity USA 2002. A youth event where teens from all
over the country come to Chicago to compete in Bible Quizzing,
Talent and Olympics. For the piano competition the piece has to
be 8-10 minutes long, fully memorized and be from an approved
list of songs. Heather chose "When I Survey". This is a sample of
her piano ability. This is before she was really good on the piano..

What 2010 brings:
2010 brings the memories of the final few weeks of Heather being alive.
2010 brings a whole year since I heard Heather's voice or hugged her.
2010 brings a whole year of trying to move forward without Heather.
2010 brings Heather further in the past.
2010 brings a year that has lasted an eternity....

1 comment:

  1. My First Christmas in Heaven

    I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
    With tiny lights, like Heaven’s stars, reflecting on the snow
    The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
    For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
    I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
    But the sounds of music can’t compare
    with the Christmas choir up here.

    I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
    For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
    I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
    But I am not so far away, we really aren’t apart.
    So be happy for me, dear ones, you know I hold you dear.
    And be glad I’m spending Christmas
    with Jesus Christ this year.

    I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
    I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
    After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold
    It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
    Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do
    For I can’t count the blessing or love he has for each of you
    So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
    Remember, I am spending Christmas
    with Jesus Christ this year.
    ( by Author Unknown)
    A friend sent us this, I thought you might take some comfort from it.

    Take care

    From one grieving mother to another

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