Friday, October 28, 2011

Lady With The Scar...


Most of the time Heather and I we were the youngest people in the Ironwood Cancer Center waiting area. During one of our first visits we saw a very distraught younger woman who was not sure she wanted to begin her chemo treatments. There was another younger woman sitting next to her trying to calm her down. This woman was going through treatments as she wore a scarf on her head and had a scar on her chest from what we assumed was the lymphoma tumor she had removed. She was called to go back for her radiation treatment and the scared woman was left there alone. Heather went over and began to talk to her and calm her down. Unfortunately this woman left before her treatment and I have no idea if she ever came back.

Heather and I would see the “lady with the scar” many more times during our visits. Heather admired her for being so bold and brave to go out with a scarf on her head and a low cut neck shirt so that her scar was visible. Heather called the scar her badge of courage. She remarked once that she had broken 2 bones and had cancer and would not have a scar to show for any of it. Not that she felt the need to have surgery she just felt like it would be nice to have something to show for all of her treatments. We wondered about this woman and her family. She was younger and we wondered if she had young kids. We figured she had lymphoma because of her age and the scar. Funny how you sit in a cancer clinic and wonder what kind of cancer each person has.

Heather and I saw this “lady with the scar” many times during our visits. We hoped she would have the best outcome ever. But we never knew what ended up happening to her. We never knew her name or anything else about her. Honestly, I placed this woman in the back of my mind when Heather died. She was a memory of the place, the people and event that changed my life forever. She was placed in the memory file along with all the doctors, nurses and staff from the clinic.

Fast forward to August 2011, over 3 years since the last time we saw the “lady with the scar” at Ironwood Cancer Clinic. I wanted a change with my hair and had made an appointment at True Essence Salon where Heather and I used to get our hair done at. This was also where we went to have Heather’s head shaved when time came for that. I made the appointment and woke the next day with a panic attack that I could not walk into that salon. I called to cancel my appointment and explained why. They were very understanding. I still wanted my hair done and I decided to go back to Regis where I always go. My regular gal was not there but I didn’t want to wait so I made an appointment with Laurie. I am very picky about who does my hair because many people have cut too much off or added too much color. I was going way out of my comfort zone.

When I arrived at Regis and met Laurie she looked very familiar to me but I could not place where I knew her from. For some reason I saw her with different hair but still could not remember when I had seen her before. Anytime I meet someone new there comes a point I have to decide do I talk about Heather or do I keep that to myself. It is something that I wrestle with in my mind for minutes weighing each pro and con of do I really want to share my Heather with this person. People usually tell their hair stylist everything about them. What else do you do when you sit there but talk about yourself. So, in a moment’s decision I felt I could trust Laurie and I told her my daughter had cancer and she died.

I think that hairstylist also have to decide how much they tell you as well about themselves. Most of them are very open but I imagine many of them have things that they don’t share with every client that sits in their chair. As I began to talk it began to dawn on both of us that we knew each other. You see, Laurie is the “lady with the scar”. She remembered seeing Heather in the office a couple of times as well. Laurie remembered that Heather went to talk to the woman after she was called to her appointment. All of a sudden we shared a bond and had a connection. Funny how cancer creates a bond with strangers that become friends with the mention of the word.

Laurie is married, has a son and most importantly is in remission. She is truly a brave, remarkable woman. She was Heather and my hero before, and now that I know her is still is my hero. It was amazing to me to finally meet the woman that I had seen in the clinic and that she is doing so well. She also has the most amazing ability to do hair. She is a perfectionist and listens to what I want for my hair. The 2 times I have had my hair colored has been the 2 best color jobs I have ever had done. Laurie recently went out on her own into Signature Salon in East Mesa. This is a remarkable place that gives stylist their own place to do hair without the huge expense of an individual store front. I would encourage anyone to give Laurie a try with their hair. You will not be disappointed. I have her number and will share with anyone who would like it. Please support Laurie and her remarkable survival.

The “lady with the scar” has gone from being a face without a name, to having a name to a being someone I count as a privilege and a blessing to know personally.

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