It is Just A Job, Right?...

What is a job? Have you ever really thought about that beyond the meaning of money to supply your basic needs?

          A job is defines as:

            A regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one's trade,

                        occupation, or profession.

A position of employment.

A task that must be done.

My first job was in the summer of 1981, when I was 16 and under the delusion that I needed a job so I could pay to drive the car that sat in front of our house. (That was not my step-mother’s plan as I was never allowed to drive any vehicle while I lived at home.) My Daddy knew the owner of the local Orange Julius fairly close to our house and this was my first job. I was thrilled to be working and feeling like I was gaining some independence.

Sadly, I worked this job for 2 days and then I quit. I am normally not a quitter however, in this case the manager thought I was a spoiled, rotten person and she worked me to the bone to prove her point that I would never last in the job. WOW! Imagine how crushed I was to have to quit this job to find out she did this to me on purpose. I was made to wash everything, mop, sweep and empty the trash my entire shift. I was not allowed to work with customers or learn how to make anything. The breaking point for me was when I was coming to the end of a 5 hour shift and I was informed by the other worker I needed to sweep and mop and take out all the rugs while she sat there and did nothing. I was defeated, deflated and of course I felt like a total failure to have only worked 2 days. But I was never treated fairy or like I belonged.

Because of my first job experience it took me a very long time to try again for another job. In January 1985, I applied and got my second job. I honestly had no idea what I had applied for and I didn’t know the place I was working. What a dumb way to get a job. I worked as a part-time TBS operator for The Navigators Organization. (All that means is I solicited money on the phone for different Christian organizations.) Because I was part-time I was not treated like the full-time employees were. They were allowed a 15 minute morning break and I was not. I could not be on the phones alone as it was a computer driven system with 4 people on the system at a time. So I was made to find other things to do during those 15 minutes. I was given a 30 minute lunch break and then I was supposed to be off before the afternoon break. BUT, they always were behind in their call totals for the week and I usually ended up working till 3-4 pm every day four days a week.

Sadly, I worked this job for 9 months and then I was let go. I was pregnant with Jenn and had planned to work up until closer to my due date. This did not happen as my boss’s daughter had died in June in a car accident and she couldn’t stand to look at me. (This is totally understand now.)  I had been extremely sick and decided to turn in my 2 week notice. When I told my boss she told me to make that day my last day and I could go home. WOW! While I was happy to go home and sleep and rest it was not the plan as we were buying our first house and I needed to be employed for those two weeks. I was not considered part of the team of girls that worked there as they had a long history together and I was the outsider, newcomer.

You would think that I would have gotten the hint by now that I am not ever meant to be part of anything not a work place, not my step family, never by my birth family and certainly not my in-law family. I have been thrown under the bus and blamed for just being on the planet in every aspect of my entire life. Of course I am a very unique person and sometimes I am very hard and very hard to love. I also have a tendency to be a perfectionist and a my way or the highway sort of gal. Not that this is bad, I know that about myself and I am a work in progress.

The day that Heather died I once again I was thrust into the “I don’t fit in” group. It is not a happy place to be and many misunderstandings have happened. I refuse to apologize anymore because I AM DIFFERENT! I am the round peg trying to fit into the square hole. My entire life has been this way and this is just the icing on the cake. Being a grieving mother is not easy and I can’t just let it go and “be myself” again. The old me is gone and the new and different me is what is left. For the most part not many people want to come along on this journey with me and why would you? I wouldn’t want to either! I never wanted to think about one of my children dying. I understand that I am once again the weirdo that just doesn’t belong.

Roughly 2 years ago I began toying with the idea of getting a job, but not just any regular job. I wanted to work at The Disney Store. Honestly I would love to work at Disneyland but since I am a 6 hour drive away the morning commute seems a bit much. I did not go out and apply at every place I could trying to get work experience before I applied to The Disney Store since I have not worked in 29 years. I kept looking and watching the online Disney job site for an opening. I first applied in the summer and made it to the final interview but because I was not willing to break our cruise in December, I was not hired. I was crushed and wasn’t sure I wanted to have my hopes so high again only to have them dashed again.

Bill, my husband, works in Chandler and goes into the mall almost every day to eat lunch. Well, there is a Disney Store there and not just any store, but the only one like it in the state. I knew the manager at that store that had come from the San Tan Disney Store when they opened the Chandler mall store. Bill also knew the manager and told her I had applied and had been turned down. A few weeks later when Bill was in the store I received a message that seasonal jobs for the Chandler Mall Disney Store had just been posted and I should go online and apply. Long story and process later and I am now a seasonal Disney Cast Member hoping beyond all hope I get to stay beyond seasonal.

I have finished my training and have had two shifts “on stage” so far. Both of them have been amazing and to say I love it is an understatement. Maybe I have drunk the Disney kool-aid, but I feel like for the “first time in forever” I actually fit in. (that is a song from Frozen by the way.) I feel really good and I am loving my coworkers. With that being said, something happened on Monday that I know the Cast Member has no idea she touched my heart and soul with her kindness. It all has to do with the Blue Aurora doll. This CM (Cast Member) wanted the blue doll and no one else had said anything about wanting the doll. At this store when just one person wants something they usually get to purchase it. Otherwise they would have a drawing so it is fair to all CM. This CM was on vacation when I asked about the doll and they offered to do a drawing. I said no way I would try online or buy from Ebay, I would not take this CM’s doll since she was on vacation and not able to be contacted to tell her what had happened. Monday, she was back and had wondered if she got the Blue Aurora. I told her yes she did and then I told her I got mine online and showed her the photo of Heather in the blue dress. The following words still to this moment are probably the most moving words I have ever heard: this CM who has never worked with me and knows very little about me told me if I didn’t get my Blue Aurora she would give me hers. WOW! Really! Did you hear her words or did you just read them? She was willing to sacrifice something she wanted to make me happy. She has no idea that those few words have shown me more love and support than I have had in a really, really long time. (To my inner circle, I do not mean you.)My Blue Aurora has been shipped and should be here late this week or early next week.

I come home and I am flying and talking non-stop. I love the whole thing. Yes I know that “Magical” Friday is coming and I will be pushed to the limits, but somehow working for Disney is different than I have ever felt before. I can’t wait to go to work and be “on stage” and help to make our guests have a little bit more magical day. It feels good to me. For the first time in forever I feel HAPPY. Maybe because I am not focused on myself. So…for the first time in 5 years as the fall season has come, I am not depressed. As I am thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas I actually have some joy. Not to be too over optimistic as I know old man depression will make his arrive sometime, I just hope he goes quickly and maybe for the first time in over 5 year I can breathe this holiday season.