The Easter That Wasn't...

EASTER: a Christian festival and holiday celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ on the third day after his crucifixion at Calvary. Easter is the culmination of the Passion of Christ, preceded by Lent, a forty-day period of fasting, prayer and penance.

EASTER: is a moveable feast, meaning it is not fixed in relation to the civil calendar. It was established that the date of Easter as the first Sunday after the full moon following the March equinox. The equinox is reckoned to be on March 21, and the full moon does not necessarily fall on the same date. Therefore Easter varies between March 22nd and April 25^th.

The girls at Trinity Baptist Church-1995 (Heather's funeral would be here 14 yrs later)

EASTER: in the Coombe household has always been one of celebrating with gifts, candy and church. When the girls were little they each had dresses made by mom or new dresses, hats, shoes and sometimes matching gloves. (Remember the girls were born in the 80’s and 90’s) While we went to church and had the significance be focused on Christ and His resurrection. HOWEVER, I really did not and still do not see anything wrong with some Easter fun with eggs and the Easter bunny. If your child is taught the true meaning they can still enjoy the fun of Easter as well and not feel left out. For example in the girl’s Easter baskets was always an empty egg to represent the empty tomb.

Heather and Jelly Bean bunny looking groovie

The girl’s always looked forward to getting their Easter baskets and seeing what new treasures and goodies were in there. I made my own so that they could be tailor fit to each girl including the candy they liked and didn’t like. Of course all three baskets included PEEPS, jelly beans and a chocolate Easter bunny. For whatever reason Heather loved the ears of the chocolate bunnies and I got her the bunny big ears so she had twice the amount of bunny ears to eat. Sometimes there were stuffed Easter bunnies in the baskets, but more times Jenn had a Pooh critter, Wendy had a cat or tiger of some kind and Heather had the bunnies.

Heather and Mr. B

Easter was the perfect time to get the birthday supplies for the December birthday that took place for the bunny lover. Of course it was much harder to find bunny plates and napkins in December. Many years I bought bunnies for many other holidays and event that might come along during the year. I still to this day am drawn to bunnies, but it is with a smile on my face with sadness in my heart that I look at the stuffed bunnies now. I pick them up, look at the tag for their name and give it a squeeze. Heather never met a bunny she didn’t love.

Between the clothes and baskets there was also the Easter meal. I always made ham with twice baked potatoes, green bean casserole, hot rolls and of course sally salad. Several years I made individual bunny cakes decorated like bunnies for everyone. Once in a while although not much in the past I made deviled eggs but usually I ate most of them. It would be a fun time of food and laughter, family and fun….

Easter 2008

…BUT suddenly in 2008 Easter changed. Our family had smaller baskets but the meal was at Golden Corral buffet instead. There was not much laughter and fun as in 5 short days heather would undergo a needle biopsy for cancer. Our family was a bit fractured and many different things were all happening at once. It was the last time that Easter would be a holiday I ever wanted to think about.

THEN came 2009…I had such vision and HOPE that the miracle we needed so desperately would be given to us on Good Friday or Easter Sunday. I told everyone that Sunday was coming just watch, so we all watched as Heather got worse and then collapsed her lung on Good Friday. I bought Heather a stuffed Easter bunny for the first time in several years. It was a little multi colored bunny with flowers on it. I knew my Heather had to have a bunny in her ICU room no matter what. This was when I found the TY Heather bunnies as well.

SINCE 2009 I have tried to celebrate Easter as best I can. I have tried to get some small gifts for the girls and we have at least been together since I didn’t make Easter dinner. Easter, because of the circumstances that happened during the Easter season for two years in a row, has not been a favorite holiday of mine and I try very, very hard to be open minded and put my feelings aside and celebrate the day the best I can. By having Snookie it helps to focus on her energy and love of the holiday. Last year we had a beautiful meal at Wendy and Sunnie’s and then had a wonderful time watching Snooks hunt for Easter eggs.

Heather's last Easter bunny-It has daisies on it!!

FAST FORWARD to this year and things are not nice, fun and honestly they down right suck. For the first time Easter and Heather’s death anniversary are the same day. How could this happen? This is not just any year but it happens to be the 5^th anniversary a huge milestone anniversary. As February came I had the highest hopes and good mood to plan dinner with the family-me cooking-and then have a small gathering later in the evening to release balloons and place luminaries to commemorate the day. I have had special gifts made to give to Jenn and Wendy for the 5^th anniversary to memorialize the day.

Easter gift from Shawna-2009

BUT…as we are now at the end of March and April is near I cannot no matter how hard I try celebrate Easter AND Heather’s death day on the same day. I CANNOT DO IT!!! I feel like a failure as a mom. I think this must be what it is like to grow old to the point of not being able to have holiday meals and events at your house. I feel like a failure as a mom to my girls. Yes, they are grown, but mom has always done Easter and Christmas. That is what mom’s do!!! I am young, well and still have my mind so how can this be that I cannot do this…it is simple, I hate the holiday Easter-not the meaning-I also hate the day Heather died.

I still buy bunny stickers

The day Heather died was the day my heart died, yes it keeps beating but it is broken into pieces never to be right and working well again. A light in my soul was put out, and a hurt deep into my bones was placed and I cannot get past it or over it or put it out of my mind. This is a horrible day. PERIOD!! I have been told I need to look at it that this is the day that Heather met Jesus. I am sorry my earthly side doesn’t feel or see it that way.

As you go about your Easter events, stop to remember the loved ones you have around you and all that you have. Maybe hug your kids and grandkids a little closer. The Coombe family will be trying to celebrate Easter on April 19^th, which is a whole different set of emotions as Rusty died that day. SO honestly Easter this year is not a holiday that is even doable. For Easter 2014, we will be having a princess cake and remembering a light that was put out way too young but is never far from my heart and mind.