Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Sharp Knife Of A Short Life...

"Lord make me a rainbow
I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you
When she stands under my colors.
Oh and life ain't always
What you think it ought to be,
No ain't even gray,
But she buries her baby."
~If I Die Young~The Perry Band

I love how Disney/Pixar movies can make you believe that monsters only scare you because it is their job to do so. That fish really have homes and children. Cars could possibly live in towns like Radiator Springs and maybe we really do need to visit old towns along Route 66. The longest thing that we have believed in is that toys are real and come to life when we humans are out of the room. If you have not seen the latest Toy Story then I highly recommend you do.
The day "Georgeanne" arrived April, 2009

With Toy Story 3 being fresh on my mind, I have begun to think about Heather's toys and things a little differently. I need to find homes for some things instead of just placing them in the plastic bag that goes to goodwill. For now, I have decided to bring all of Heather's belongs into the house. I may begin to sort through some of them and it is way to hot to be in the garage. When I brought the boxes and bucket into the house I looked at a couple of them. I noticed a couple of friends and I knew where they needed to go. Heather received many treasures during treatment but none more special than Chemo Bear, Princess Bear and Georgeanna Bunny. All 3 of them were made at Build A Bear and were given by 3 treasured friends. Chemo came from South Carolina, Princess was made right here in Phoenix and Georgeanne came from Colorado Springs. Today, Princess was returned to Julie. Chemo will be taking his journey via USPS back to Lynn. I could think of no better place for these treasures to go than back to the ones that loved Heather enough to make them for her. Georgeanne Bunny will be remaining with me and seems happy to be reunited with her bearfriend "Edison". Sorry Sally and George you cant have Georgeanne back. I promise to take good care of her..

I am not sure if people have a sense about when they might die. Certainly I don't mean that they know when they are going to die. I think there is a feeling or a hunch that comes over the person when they are close to dying. The peace of God that passes all understanding. It could be that they feel so badly that they wish they would die. I am not sure about this and I have no Biblical basis for this. In going through Heather's things when she died I found something that rocked me to my core. I remember reading this and sobbing my heart out. Did Heather know that her time was short? Did she have a feeling that she was going to die soon? If she did, she never said a word to me. She would not have said anything to me because in her words she had worried me way to much. She was not about to put me through more worrying and fretting over her. She was unselfish to the very end. Below are words that Heather wrote on March 7, 2009. She would be admitted to the hospital on March 19, 2009. Going back into the hospital I believe she knew. She never ever gave up hope...but I think she knew.

There is a new country group called The Perry Band. This group comes from Alabama. Kimberly, Reid and Neil are siblings that write and compose the songs they sing. The band has a new song out entitled "If I Die Young". They said this song fell out of the heavens as they wrote it on a cloudy day in east Tennessee. They went into the foyer of their home, which has great acoustics, threw up a microphone and recorded a demo. The video was shot on a cloudy day and is more expressive so it can capture the romance of the lyrics without over telling the story. I am not in love with the video, but I still find it captivating to watch. I hope you will listen to the words of the song. It is quite something...

9 comments:

  1. I too love this song. I am so sorry for your grief...
    grace and peace,
    Dana Niemeier

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  2. I am a complete stranger who came across this blog when I did a google search of the Band Perry lyrics "Sharp knife of a short life." I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My wife and I will definitely be praying for you and your family! I cannot imagine what you are going through, but your words are powerful and your honesty breathtaking.

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  3. I, too, came across your blog searching for the lyrics of "If I Die Young." My son, Allan, died 11/28/02 from cancer at the age of 16 years, 10 days. He knew he was going to leave me, spared me what he could (why do children do that?!), and I awoke in the middle of the night, instantly aware that he was leaving us.
    God bless you. I still have things of Allan's I haven't been able to part with, may never be able to. His cancer friend, Ram, was buried with him. Benjie Bunny is in my home and comes out on tough days. Sometimes when I hug the bunny it is almost like hugging Allan.
    We belong to a club that no-one should have to belong to. May God grant you peace.

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  4. C. S. Lewis in the last book of the Narnia series, "The Last Battle" writes on the death of the Pevensie children...

    "All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

    May the Lord grant you peace in your lost and Hope for a future beyond our comprehension, but in His love...

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  5. C. S. Lewis in the last book of the Narnia series, "The Last Battle" writes on the death of the Pevensie children...

    "All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before."

    May the Lord grant you peace in your lost and Hope for a future beyond our comprehension, but in His love...

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  6. Your daughter will be the first one to meet you when it's your turn to pass thru that tunnel of light, the gateway to heaven. Keep the faith. God ease your pain. Time will heal.

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  7. Hello. I'm the sister of a sweet, sweet brother who died unexpectedly shortly after my Mother died. My father certainly shares your grief, and I want to let you know that every note of this song reaches into my heart the way it does yours. So very sorry that you've experienced this loss, and I very much feel your pain. Take care, my dear.

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  8. I too happened on your blog looking for the perry song lyrics but am very moved by your words. Will be thinking of you and sending healing prayers for you and your family. May another door open as this one closed for you.

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  9. I am so sorry that you had to go through the loss of a daughter. I just can't imagine it.

    My wife is a leukemia survivor. I am going to go give her a hug right now. I think I'll hug my son while I'm at it.

    I hope you find peace.

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