I am learning that it doesn’t matter how many years it has been since Heather died, each year is different and I cannot do anything but accept it and ride it out. Some years I feel very little depression and other years it seems to hit me like a brick. One thing is for sure that time does not heal this wound, it changes it but it never goes away.
This year has been a strange year and seems to be getting stranger. It never ceases to amaze me at just how weird the days can be sometimes.
In October, last year, while Bill was in Hong Kong, I had a party with the kids and GRANDgirls here at the house. It was during that time that Jenn and I got a firsthand view at the kind of anger and verbal abuse Wendy had been dealing with for many months. It was very ugly and quite disturbing to get the view of Sunnie that I had never seen. It was an eye opener to Wendy that she should not have to endure this kind of abuse. There was a few times that harsh words for my Snooks were said that I did not like either. This was not the man that entered our family years ago, he had changed into someone none of us knew and he was not very nice.
In January, It was clear that Wendy’s marriage was not going to be healthy to continue, so she took Snooks and left. From there it got really ugly. This man that we allowed to be a part of our family totally disappointed me as a man, as a husband and as a decent human being.
We did not kick Sunnie out of the family and tried to do everything we could to keep a relationship with him. Of course, this is impossible to do in the best of situations. This guy that we welcomed into our home and lives turned out not to be a man of his word. He has disappeared owing us some serious money. Of course he is still here and causing trouble for Wendy to get her divorce.
SO the beginning of the year was heavy with changes and once again like a death in our family. While Sunnie is still here, I don’t care to ever see him again. He just disappeared and all the memories are now more bitter than sweet. There are no more photos around the house with him in them, which is sad. The final straw was when he said he didn’t love Snooks anymore. No matter what happens you don’t dump a child it is so not cool. He is in no way a decent man of any way, shape or form and is still making issues
This year began with change and it has become okay. It was very difficult at first but as with death you get used to the new normal.