An ordinary day can be changed into an extraordinary day with the blink of an eye. it can be a voice, a sound, a song, a smell, a place, a person, an event that gets me, and the list goes on and on and on. I can be happy, or at least happy by the new normal standards, but then a normal day can be transformed into an emotional series of events. Something as simple as checking the mail can become a sudden gut kick, sucking all the air out of my lungs and forcing me to reach deep inside to remain standing.
Bill was away on a normal business trip to San Jose, and this like most of his other trips was nothing eventful. Most of the time I stay home to house sit, keep cat company and do my thing around the house. It is no big deal and I am getting used to the twice a month event. I try to stay busy and not get into trouble, but trouble sometimes seems to find me. Checking the mail is one of those routine things of day to day living around our house; but not more than a twice a week thing, as we don't get much in the way of mail. Most all the mail addressed to Heather has stopped. I guess after 7 years I had quit expecting to see anything addressed to her in the mail. Imagine my shock last week when I received a letter addressed to "The Estate of Heather N Coombe."
I slowly pulled this letter from the box wondering who in the world would be sending something, but also that they knew she was deceased. As the letter came into the light I could see it was from Ironwood Cancer Clinic. My mind raced, as my stomach felt sick and my heart began to hurt. I opened the letter to read a very cold, impersonal letter about doing some accounting cleaning and here was a refund that we were owed. I thought for a brief moment could be be a couple thousand dollars? We had after all paid close to $20,000 just to the oncologist. My eyes searched the check and found out it was ninety dollars and some change. WHAT? NINETY DOLLARS? I had to check and double check to make sure the amount I was reading was correct. My heart hurt and I felt like I had been slapped in the face. I had no words and still have no words to describe those moments. It was dark outside and I sat down on the curb under the streetlight to really review again what I was reading. Yup, it was $90. But for me my mind went racing to all the memories of treatments, bills and doctors. These memories came flooding over me in a tidal wave and I felt like I would drown. I still had no words and was in shock. Bill tells me I have the most fun while he is away.
I decided to cash the check and take the money to Disneyland to buy something with it. It seemed like the only thing I knew to do. I looked at the check and began to wonder if the thing could even be cashed or deposited. I figured I knew the answer and I wasn't going to like it much. A very nice bank manager told me I could not do anything with this check and suggested I call the center to see if they would reissue a check in my name. Of course at this point I really just wanted to write a giant F**K YOU on the check and send it back. I did not want the hassle of trying to explain to the bookkeeping department why I needed a different check.
I called Ironwood Cancer Clinic and my heart raced. How many calls had I made here and heard the answering systems replies to my number pushing. I got a hold of an answering machine and left a message, but decided that I did not want to wait for someone to call me back. I called again and went to the operator. I explained my situation briefly and asked her to please let me speak to a person. The next voice I heard was Julie. I calmly explained to her the situation and why I needed a new check. She told me that would be no problem as they recently changed accounting software and had sent out 100's of checks. I began to explain to her what this unexpected mail had done to me. I began to cry as I told her I had to sit down on the curb, under the street light to catch my breathe. I told her it was a huge shock and their letter needed to be more personable and extend some heartfelt sympathy and not just "we cleaned our books, here's your refund." I made Julie cry too. I am sorry but if I have to cry so do most of the people around me.
I arrived home from my Disneyland trip to find my check in thee mail. There was nothing in the envelope but the check. I think it would have been a very nice jest urge to have had a small note in with the check, but that would be too much to ask. Regardless the check arrived and I don't have to call them yet again to press for this whopping $90
It is always a joy as to what each day will bring. It never ceases to amaze me how things can still come around that shock me and I am sure this will never go away. I imagine 20 years from now there will be something that comes up that will rock me to the core. The only thing to do is to go thru the event and the emotions that it brings.
No comments:
Post a Comment