Truvy: How ya holding
up honey
M’Lynn: I’m fine
Claire: It was a
beautiful service,
Weezer: Those are the
most beautiful flowers I have ever seen
M’Lynn: They were
beautiful
A’Nell: Miss M’Lynn,
it should make you feel better knowing that Shelby is with her King
M’Lynn: Yes A’Nell, I
guess it should!
A’Nell: We should all
be rejoicing
M’Lynn: We you go on
ahead! I’m sorry if I don’t feel like it! I guess I am a little selfish; I’d
rather have her here!
It has been 3 years, or 36 months, try
156 weeks, how about 1,095 days, maybe 26,280 hours, or 1,576,800 minutes and
finally 94,608,000 seconds since Heather died. Three years sounds like a long
time, but the 26,280 hours or 94,608,000 seconds sound nearly impossible and
overwhelming. Three years is a long time not to see your child, or talk to her,
not know what she is doing just simply being without her. No she is not away at
college nor did she move across the country, if she had done those things I
could talk to her on the phone, text her or get on a plane and go see her. None
of that is possible for me to do.
This week was a very emotional week
for me as I made huge decisions and had an enormous change of heart concerning
cemeteries and letting go of her ashes. The heart box that sat on her grand
piano for nearly 3 years I lovingly said my goodbyes and placed them into the
hands of Daniel at the cemetery. Monday will be our family time to say our
final goodbyes and bury her ashes. More details about all the decisions in the
next blog.
Thursday night Bill and I went to
Tucson and stayed the night.We had a nice dinner and didn't do anything just relaxed and were out. My plan was to visit Ben’s Bells
on Friday. Heather loved to paint pottery and she loved to help people. I
wanted to visit Ben’s Bells to paint pottery pieces for the bells and help
someone else.
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| outside Ben's Bells-Tucson |
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| A historic building downtown |
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| Add caption |
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| Mosaic counter for washing your brushes |
What is Bens’ Bells you may ask?
- Ben's Bells are beautiful, ceramic wind
chimes.
- The pieces that form a Ben's
Bell are crafted by hand by people all over Tucson and beyond.
- The process of making the pieces of Ben's
Bells is therapeutic & FUN - no artistic ability is necessary!
- By the time a Ben's Bell is assembled, at
least ten people have worked on it making it a TRUE COMMUNITY EFFORT!
- Ben's Bells are not for sale... Several times
a year, hundreds and hundreds of Ben's Bells are hung randomly in public places
around Tucson and beyond. The only way to get a Ben's Bell is to find one or to
be "Belled"
- To date, over 25,541 Ben's Bells have been released!
- And the point?? KINDNESS! We
want people to remember how much power they have each day to make the world a
better place simply by being kind.
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| Celebrate Kindness-Bill through window |
Are
you interested in how Ben’s Bells was started? March 29th, 2002 started as a
very normal day in the lives of Jeannette and Dean. Their sons, Matthew –
nearly 6 and Ben – nearly 3 – were home playing with a playmate. Ben had a cold
and a bit of a croupy cough. Never did it enter their minds that Ben was
seriously ill or that he could die. And then he did. It only took seconds for
him to become unconscious after his airway swelled shut. Jeannette’s efforts at
rescue breathing and CPR were in vain as Ben’s airway was completely closed. In
those moments on the morning of Good Friday their lives changed forever. Slowly,
they began incorporating coping strategies into their lives coming up with a
design for Ben’s Bells and started making them in their back yard studio with
friends. The therapeutic effect of working with clay was amazing as was the
power of being surrounded by people talking and working toward a common goal. They
decided to make hundreds of the Bells and distribute them randomly in the community
to encourage the kindness that they so depended on to get through each day.
Since Ben’s death, it had been the kindness of others, strangers and friends,
that had helped them begin to heal. They wanted to find a way to pass on that
kindness and to help others in the process. On the first anniversary of his death, hundreds of Ben’s
Bells were distributed throughout Tucson, hung randomly in trees, on bike
paths, and in parks with a written message to simply take one home and pass on
the kindness.
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| Mosaic tribute to Ben |
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| Original Ben's Bell-can't buy have to find it |
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| Mini Ben's Bells you can buy |
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| bead string bells |
To
me personally, Ben’s Bells have been very healing as I have purchased a Mini
Ben’s bell to mark Heather’s cancer and 3 bead string bells to mark the number
of years that have passed. I love the fact that no beads are made the same or
painted alike. They are truly unique bells. I also have purchased some to send
to friends to mark death anniversary dates. I purchased a heart bell to mark
our trip to see and paint at Ben’s Bells. Then just to add
to my collection I bought the limited edition 2012 celebration of kindness
bell. I love going out on the back porch and listening to the bells and wind
chimes I have outside now. I also bought Jenn and Wendy their own bells as a
keepsake.
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| Bill's first time painting pottery |
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| Sherry painting "chili pepper red" |
It
was a very relaxing time to sit in the shade with a light breeze and paint
“kindness coins”. These coins or token are a reminder to be kind. Many of these "coins" are given to teachers in the local schools to give to
students when they see them doing acts of kindness. It is a very small way to
pay it forward. So Bill and I painted “kindness coins” flowers. After we leave
they will be dipped in glaze and fired in the kiln. A small string with a
note will be attached to them and then they will be bought or given away. Kind
of a nice feeling to know something I helped make is going to brighten someone
else day. It was a very good way to spend part of the day.
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| Our kindness coins ready to be glazed and fired |
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| In honor of Heather |
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| Kindness Coins |
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| Kindness Coins |
A’Nell: Miss M’Lynn,
I don’t mean to upset you by saying that. It’s just that when something like
this happens, I pray very hard to make heads or tails of it. And I think in
Shelby’s case, she just wanted to take care of that little baby and of you, of
everybody she knew. And her poor little body was just worn out, just wouldn’t
let her do all the things she wanted to. So she went onto a place when she
could be a guardian angel, she will always be young, she will always be
beautiful. And I personally feel much safer knowing that she’s up there on my
side. It may sound simple, stupid, and maybe I am, but that is how I get
through things like this.
M’Lynn: Thank you
A’Nell, I appreciate that, it’s a real good idea I guess
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| My Ben's Bells |
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| Be Kind Bell added April 20 |
We
came back to the Valley and met the rest of our family for dinner. We came back
home and released 12 hot pink balloons. This was to mark the 12 months that
Heather has been gone. Once it was dark we put 12 luminaries in pink bags
around the Sally Angel in the front yard. Funny how releasing balloons and
putting out luminaries can be so healing. Sally Angel goes up at Thanksgiving,
stays up on her little “cloud” of blue lights till April 21. On April 20th
a beautiful wreath is put out by Sally and then the luminaries go out that
night; then it all comes down at dusk on the 21st. For one day,
anyone who walks or drives by the house will wonder what that means, knowing in
their hearts that someone very loved died. I do it because I need people to
remember Heather. She lived but she never got her name in lights, or found a
miracle drug, or even died in a way for the world to hear about her. She was
born, she lived and then she died with no fanfare.
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| Wherever The Road Leads, Together We'll Always Be-4/20 gift from Bill |
April 20th is over and now
begins my New Year. I had a dear friend-my BFF- asked me what my goals were for
my New Year. I actually had not given it any thought. But she started me thinking
that this issomething that I need to do. I need to set goals for the year,for my New Year to accomplish before the next April 20th – when New Year’s Eve
comes along. I am working on my list and plan to share them with you and the
progress I make on them as well. It is a great idea and I thank you, Sandy very
much, love you.
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| Sally Angel on her cloud with the luminaries |
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| The design shines thru |
I want to thank all me special
peeps-S,S,S,,D,D, M and M for all your text messages, checking on me, asking how
I am. Thank you for listening to me as I tried to share my thoughts and
feelings about the changes this week. Thank you for not thinking me crazy or
insane for always being the ones I can text or call no matter what.
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| They still shine during the day thanks to the sun |
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| Looks bare with Sally Angel gone... |
M'Lynn: I'm fine! I can jog
all the way to Texas and back, but my daughter can't! She never could! Oh God!
I am so mad I don't know what to do! I wanna know why! I wanna know why
Shelby's life is over!..…Oh God I wanna know why? Why? Lord, I wish I could
understand! No! No! No! It's not supposed to happen this way! I'm supposed to
go first. I've always been ready to go first!I-I don't think I can take
this!I-I just wanna hit somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna
hit something! I wanna hit it hard!
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| Go to the website-order a bell- you will not be disappointed |
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