One Photo Says it All...

I know today is my birthday and you expected to hear all about the big celebration. I am not really in a mood to celebrate. I did have a wonderful lunch with Diane and Debbie at Mimi's Cafe. Wendy made me a strawberry cake. Everyone got me really great gifts. Including 2 bouquets of flowers. I love flowers. I even got a small cake shaped like Daisy our dog...thanks Micayla and Carla. There is nothing normal about going on with our lives while Heather will forever be 21 years, 4 months and 10 days old. Diane told me something about being normal...."Normal is nothing but a setting on a dryer".

I will write about my birthday tomorrow....not in the mood today. I want to share with you my thoughts from Monday, May5, 2008. It is late at night and Heather is on 6 South after her blood clot issue. She has done her 3rd spinal chemo and is trying to endure the Ara-C. This drug made her very sick to her stomach. This is when she discovered that she loved Ativan and Phenegren. This was what I saw as I watched her in her bed:
SILENCE
Silence is all I hear
Silence is all I see-
No sound from her or the room
No movement from her-
The only sound is the air fan
Running, running, running...

My mind wonders
My mind thinks slowly
My mind barely works at all
So much to do
So much to remember
If ony my mind could think clear
Think, think, think...

She barely moves
She barely sitrs
She barely is aware
To all the awful drugs that run
To all the cells they kill off
SHe lays there silent-there isno sound
Only breathe, breathe, breathe...

Night is dark-
Can't sleep
Too many memories
Flood my mind
Will I ever forget?