Brutally Honest...

Luke 22:44 And being in anguish [Jesus] prayed more earnestly...

There's no right way to suffer. When Jan Dravecky is talking with the mother whose child is dying of cancer, it does no good to say, "Don't feel sad," or "Don't be angry at God." There is no point in saying, "You should not feel that way." If she feels that way, she feels that way. Feelings are not right or wrong; but it is wrong to lie about how you feel. And I am no less of a Christian if I express those human emotions that come to the surface when I suffer. To Jan, you are more of a Christian because you are being honest.

Jesus was brutally honest in the Garden of Gethsemane. Luke says he was "in anguish" and "his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground," a rare condition known as hematidrosis in which causes a hemorrhage into the sweat glands, caused by a highly emotional state, making the skin fragile and tender. Now, if Jesus could feel so deeply (and He never sinned), why do we think we must hide or deny our emotions?

(This was written by Jan Dravecky, the wife of baseball pitcher Dave Dravecky. They founded Outreach of Hope in response to the overwhelming needs expressed by hurting people who were encouraged by Dave's battle with cancer and the career ending amputating of his left arm.)

Why do I feel ashamed when I have a break down when I am in public? It is because in society today we are told to be happy on the outside. People want to see hat you are moving on and everything is good. Today, I go on a typical errand to find an anniversary and birthday card for Bill. No big deal. Go to the Hallmark store. I usually avoid the card section as this really gets my emotions going. I am going to find a card for a guy everything will be okay. Right? Wrong! Do you know how many anniversary and birthday card have wording that talks about all the happy times and how wonderful your life has been? Nearly all of them do. So I stand in the card aisle and wipe tears away from my eyes, hoping no one comes because they will not understand why I am crying in front of anniversary cards. I do end up finding cards. It is very difficult for me to shop for cards now.
This happened to be the Hallmark that Jenn worked at for a year. Ester, the manager, told Jenn and I that Judy, a very nice lady that worked there, died on Saturday. She had esophageal cancer that was diagnosed 3 months ago. The cancer took her quickly. I thought to myself...Sometimes I wish that Heather had died about 6-8 weeks after diagnosis. I know that sounds crazy. But I was prepared for her to die...or as prepared as I could be at that time. We were given little hope at the beginning. I just remember words like very aggressive, fast moving, all consuming cancer. Then everyday she got better, she was in remission and the end of the tunnel was here. She survived!! She did it!! She beat it!! Then out of the blue as life was returning to "normal" she got sick. Then we drug on and on and on, day after day after day. The ICU nurses-our A-Team-felt so bad for us to keep coming in and hoping. We never gave up hope. I still have no idea why we had to endure the 33 days and all that happened there.
Then, I would not trade a single moment of the extra year and 10 days that we were allowed to have with Heather. There were terrible days and some of them I would like to give back. But I cherish each moment that we had Heather here and "healthy". I am most proud and happy that I planned the Grand Ball. I went a little overboard, but looking back...so what. I was glad that I spent the extra money on the ball gown instead of just getting a dress from Dillards. I am thrilled that I got her the white limo to arrive in. She told me that she felt like a true princess that night. Now I realize, this was her wedding. We have come to realize that true princesses don't stay long. Snow White and Aurora are two examples....We were not able to find our Prince Charming in time. In Sleeping Beauty, the 3 good fairies, when they are returning Aurora to the palace, state that they knew they would not be able to keep their princess long. Heather was a royal princess and her crown in heaven proves it to be true.