One Year Ago...

"That which does not kill us, makes us stronger"... Clairee from Steel Magnolias

One year ago...our family entered what we thought was the ending of cancer treatment and the beginning of recovery. One year ago...Heather entered the Banner Spa for what would be her last round of chemo. Round #8. We had won!! Heather had managed, with lots of prayer and help from God, to keep on track and finish HYPER-CVAD chemo in the scheduled amount of time. No setbacks. Her mood and outlook was different this time knowing that this would be the last time she would have to receive horrible chemo drugs.

One year ago...Bill and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with all our daughters on the 6th floor of Banner Baywood Hosptial. It was not the 25th anniversary of dreams. But we were all together and we were "healthy".

Written on the CaringBridge site Wednesday, September 10, 2008 at 3:10 pm:

"Happy 25th Anniversary...When you get married and as your anniversaries come and go you have dreams and ideas of where you will be and what you will do on the milestone anniversaries.

Never in a million years would I ever have expected to be spending out 25th anniversary in the Banner spa fighting cancer...or at least not with my 20 years old daughter.

In 2006, Bill and I renewed our wedding vows with a full wedding. No it was in May not September...and it was the 23rd mark not the 25th mark. But the day was a glorious day full of wonderful friends, family and memories. This year the idea of a wedding would not be possible.
Bill and I are not planning to go out tonight, nor is he able to bring me flowers. Dinner will be something simple...shared with our daughters-all 3 of our daughters. The setting is a hospital room, but I could not be more happy. Heather just has some workout drugs to keep her healthy. I could not ask for more.

The idealist dreams of wine, romance and roses on the silver anniversary are the dreams of a young bride...the way today has turned out is the perfect celebration of an experienced wife and momy. I could not have asked for more"...

I realized today that Bill and I did nothing for our anniversary last year. We both bought cards and then never managed to sign them and give them to each other. We never made it to a quiet dinner and a movie. There was too much to do with Heather having just finished chemo. Doctor appointments, blood draws and transfusions kept me busy for the rest of the month.
So, Bill decided that he would make this anniversary more like our 25th than our 26th. He did web research and learned that it is tradition to give silver for the 25th anniversary. He also did some sneaky looking at jewelry stores to find just the perfect gift. We have Princess Pea tonight so we celebrated last night. Bill came home with a huge bouquet of roses. 26 white and red roses arranged in one of the most beautiful vases I have ever seen. Then he surprised me by telling me what he had found at Helzberg Jewelry Store and would I like to go look at it. The ring is not silver but white gold, but I think that counts for silver. It has a large opal oval stone in the center with square diamonds with a square pink sapphire on each side. Then smaller round diamonds on the band. A nice steak at Texas Roadhouse and the evening was complete. Actually I had the pork chops...love it more than steak.

This has been a difficult week for Bill and I. Too many memories of where we were one year ago and where we were suppose to be this year. You would think that something like looking at jewelry would be a happy occasion and there would be no tears. Wrong!! Teri, the manager at Helzberg's, is a long time friend of ours. We have not seen her in over a year. She asked me to explain the significance of my stunning tattoo and I began to cry. Then as I told her that I did not get the words "My Dolly Girl-Heather" put on it so people would ask about my tattoo, Bill began to tear up. So once again, there we are crying in public and in the strangest place. It just hits. I can tell people what happened and it does not bring a tear and then other times I cannot get one word out.

The photos are simple to understand. I will explain the last one as this has unbelievable memory. When Bill and I renewed our vows we included all the members of our family. Bill's brother, Rusty, was one of the best men. He had never been in a wedding and rented a tux before. Uncle Steve walked out with Jenn and Wendy walked out with the baby cousins, Karee and Khloe. Uncle Rusty walked out with Heather. An amazing photo considering they decided to go to heaven together...just one day apart....
HAPPY 26th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!