April 10, 2009

April 10, 2008 began almost like any other day…except I woke up very early. Little did I know that today would be one of the longest days of my life. I knew in my mind what the afternoon held for Heather and me. It was our first visit to see Dr. Fastenberg. I was prepared for him to tell me that he didn’t know exactly what kind of cancer she had. There was more testing needed. Then give us a testing schedule for a bone marrow biopsy, remove a lymph node, CT scan, MRI and more blood work. I told everyone we would not really know much. Told Bill to go to work. There was no need for him to come with us. It does not happen that you can get a full diagnosis from a needle biopsy.

Taken April 9, 2008-Heather driving her car-last time for 6 months

 I honestly can’t remember all that we did, but I do know that Shyla, Heather, and I went to lunch at Subway. During lunch I received a call from a very close friend. We had been out of touch for a few years. She had just heard and called to see what was going on. Little did I realize just how important our friendship renewing would become. Heather, Shyla and I were antsy at home so we went to the mall to waste some time. I remember looking at nothing. Just walking and looking at my phone to see the time crawl by waiting for the 2:30 appointment. Heather and Shyla posed with the Chick Fil-a cow. This would be the last photo taken before our lives changed forever. Heather loved the grilled chicken caesar salad from Paradise Bakery so we got one on our way out.

Right before we left for The Appointment~Heather and Shyla

When I began driving to Ironwood Cancer center I realized that I never actually looked to find where it was. All I knew was it was behind Banner Baywood Hospital on Arbor Street. I began to panic when I had just about come to the end of the street and still had not found it. As I made the last curve there it was on the left hand side of the road. I pulled into the parking lot and found a spot. Heather finished her salad and brought it out to throw it away. There was no trashcan. I told her to put it by the tire and we would get it on the way out and throw it away. As we entered the waiting room we were the youngest ones there.

It was the usual fill out the paperwork, meet with financing and then sit and wait. We waited and waited and waited. Appointment was for 2:30, then 3 o’clock came, then 3:30. Heather sat there with her legs crossed shaking and flipping her foot the way she did when she was nervous. Finally a nurse called “Heather Coombe”. It was our turn. Shyla stayed in the waiting room. Heather and I entered the exam room. The same room we would be in every time we saw Dr. Fastenberg. Lorane took the vitals and told us he would be with us shortly. Heather and I neither one knew what was about to happen as he came in the door.

Dr. Fastenberg, hematology oncologist, came in and looked at the chart. He asked Heather to sit up on the exam table and did the basic exam. He felt her neck, shoulders, back and stomach feeling lymph nodes. He then asked Heather to sit next to me. He asked her lots of questions about her life, did she go to school, have a job, lots about her lifestyle. He had to ask if she did drugs, had sex and/or could be pregnant. He said he would ask mom to step outside if she needed to say anything I couldn’t hear. She laughed and said no, she knows everything.

Dr. Fastenberg looked right at Heather and me and told us that as of this moment she was in a fight for her life. She was no longer a student or worked a job; she had to check out of her life till treatments were over. He had the diagnosis of T-Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoblastic Lymphoma. But he did state it could be Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. Either way treatment was the same. It is a very aggressive cancer and fast moving. 

Heather is in very serious condition and she needs massive chemo to begin as soon as possible. He asked me when could we check into the hospital. I told him maybe Monday would be good. This was Thursday and that would give us the weekend to get things in order. He looked right at me and told me it could not wait and she needed to be admitted tonight, right away. Heather was in shock and did not hear anything after he said aggressive and fast moving cancer. As I sat there I began to have tunnel vision and there was ringing in my ears. Did someone suck all the oxygen out of the room? Were the lights going out? Could I be passing out from shock? I could hear Dr. Fastenberg talking and I was trying to stay conscious and comprehend what he was staying..8 rounds, 4 cycles, spinal chemo, 6 months, blood transfusions, long hospital stays, blood levels, remission, bone marrow transplant, aggressive, maintenance for 2 yrs….and on and on with words and terms I had never dreamed of.

Dr. Fastenberg’s phone goes off and he explains he has to take the call and steps outside. Heather begins to cry the moment he leaves the room. I hug her and try, try to reassure her that everything is going to be ok. I get my phone out and call Bill. The only thing I can say is “it is bad, get home”. Bill at this point leaves work not knowing even where I am. he had no clue where the doctor's office was. Dr. Fastenberg comes back in and tells me that was City of Hope. He is looking at a stem cell transplant for Heather and seeing if they could get her in right away. I asked if Mayo Clinic would be a better place for Heather to be. He explained to me that this was a long difficult treatment road. Being close to home and having friends and family for support would be a huge help in the long run. He told me we could go to MD Anderson, but they would use the same treatment as he would. Did not know at the time that he helped develop the treatment plan.

We then went down to his office as he called the hospital to see if they had a room right now. They did not. He told them he had an admit for tonight to begin testing first thing in the morning and begin chemo that afternoon. Dr. Fastenberg told me we would know more after the testing came back. He wanted to see how big the tumor was in her chest and how many lymph nodes were involved. He began to talk about radiation as well. There ended up being no chest tumor..He told me that someone from Banner Baywood would call me and let me know when the room was ready sometime tonight. He would see us tomorrow.

I walked out and stopped at the desk. The 2 gals that were there were heartbroken and kept telling me everything would be ok. I sent Heather out to be with Shyla.  It was well after 5pm when we finally came out. One look at Heather’s face and Shyla knew it was bad. Heather mouthed the words "it's bad". It was all that Heather could say. I looked through the little rectangle window and saw them hugging and crying in the waiting room. I walked outside and told the girls to go by the xterra. I went to the side of the building and fell apart. I could not breath..my heart was pounding, tears were streaming down my face and someone had sucked all the air out of my world.  I pulled my self together and we left the parking lot. No, we did not get the trash..I feel really bad about that one. Just forgot all about it.

The rest of the evening is spent making phone calls and trying to figure out what Heather and I need for the hospital. I had no clue what to take. Heather and I agreed that she should cut her long hair before she went into the hospital. This would be the most emotional haircut anyone ever had. We even got the hair stylist crying. It was the beginning of many more tough things Heather and I would have to experience. We came home and waited to hear from Baywood.

The "full face" is all the swelling of lymph nodes~not fat

Heather trying to be thrilled about short hair....

About 9pm that night the call came. No we never ate dinner. Never dawned on us to eat. We arrived and went to 6 South, the oncology side. We did not check in right, we were suppose to check in through the ER. But we were taken to our room anyway. Room # 627. In the hallway, working on a computer was a nurse that smiled at Heather. She smiled back. Come to find out that was our nurse for the night. It was our Stacey. When she came in she talked to Heather for a long time. Told her it was not fair and that no one had the right to tell her it was. She also said her favorite thing to say was this whole thing sucks. Cancer sucks and everything about it sucks. Stacey said it gets the point across and it is not a swear word. Everyone gets the full meaning. It has been my favorite word since that day.

Three years ago tonight I was in Banner Baywood with my Dolly Girl Heather wishing we were at home and things could be normal.Two years ago I was in Banner Baywood with My Dolly Girl Heather wishing we were home and things could be normal. Last year I am at home without My Dolly Girl Heather wishing she was here and things will never be normal again. This year for the third year in a row and for the rest of my life...I am at home without My Dolly Girl Heather wishing she was here.............................

Happy 3 yr anniversary Stacey...we met you the first night. The connection between you and Heather was immediate. You were a God send for both me and Heather during the past 3 years. I hope and pray we didn't mess your life up too bad with things that happened.

Happy 3 yr anniversary Gayle (tomorrow)....You were a rock for Heather. You stood by her and showed her that you can stand up to doctors, they don't have to have their way all the time. Your support and love of Heather is truly a blessing. Love ya lots

Of all the bad stuff that happened, I am thankful for the wonderful people (mostly nurses) we met along the way. To my A-TEAM....I love you all the mostest and wish we had all met at the grocery store instead. But if I had to go through all this I am glad I had all of you with me.