You've Got A Friend In Me...

FAMILY:

A group of people recognized by birth, by marriage or by co-residence.

A basic social unit consisting of parents and their children.

All the members of a household under one roof.

A group of persons sharing common ancestry.

I am sure the word FAMILY brings a lot of memories and thoughts to your mind, whether it be your family growing up or your current family that you are raising. I have a different idea of what a FAMILY is. My FAMILY growing up was me and my daddy-Jo Beth and Norma are never to be considered my mothers at all. I was an only child of parents that were both only children. I had no aunts, uncles or cousins. My BIO-FAMILY is an interesting thought as my male DNA unit and female gestational unit are both lying SOBs. My BIO-FAMILY also has many half-brothers and sisters. There is David, Connie, Janet, Peggy, me, LuAnn, Lonnie, Linelle, and twins LeEllen and Karla. Out of the 9 sibling I have no relationship with any of them and I have never met my two brothers and one sister. I am good with that as they have no clue about me and I don’t want to know them either.

  When the road looks rough ahead
And you're miles and miles
From your nice warm bed
Just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me...

Your FAMILY has your past, your memories that you were too little to remember or details you are missing. Jo Beth died when I was 9 and my daddy died when I was 24. The only two people on the planet that could fill in the blanks in my past and my childhood are dead. I am left with missing images of my past and what I think to be true but no real proof that they are true.

I have two friends that I consider my “FAMILY” that have bits and pieces of my past, Sandy who I met in first grade and Margie that I met in fifth grade. Of course they were kids growing up and were not in my life everyday but they are the closest thing I have to FAMILY or sisters on this planet. Over the years we all have gone our separate ways but have managed to find each other again. Never really very far away and always feels like home when we are together.

When Heather died I tried to contact Margie and failed. I ended up calling her mother in law and leaving her a message to have Margie call me. The moment she got the message she called me right away and we have not really been out of touch since then. Shortly after this Margie got very sick and following lots of things learned she has cancer. My heart broke as my dear friend had to face cancer and all the ugliness it brings.

 You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and we see it through
You've got a friend in me...

The past year has not been nice to Margie and has her still fighting for her life with a slim chance for a cure. We have had several chats about death and I have shared my experience with Heather with her. I saw Margie when she was visiting her daughter her in Arizona over Christmas. Things looked good and after a surgery life could begin again. Surgery came and things did not go so well. She spent a few weeks in the hospital trying to recover. Margie had the highest hopes heading into testing in May. She told me very matter of fact that she felt great and her cancer was gone. Unfortunately the tests showed otherwise. In May we made plans for me to come visit in June, then July and finally plans were set for August.

Margie and Sherry by the river

It was very hard to see my dear friend suffering so much. I will never understand why such good, sweet people are made to suffer such extreme pain. But Margie’s smile never dimmed and her eyes sparkled like they always did. Underneath all the drugs and surgeries was my childhood, lifelong “sister.” She is my FAMILY as she holds many years of my past that no one else has. We talked and laughed about the ‘old’ days and all the fun things we did when we were young.

True face of cancer

I was not allowed to drive in high school and was forced to take the bus to and from school. That lasted about a week and then I decided I needed to have a different way of getting home. Most days I walked home with Margie. Her house was about halfway and I could stop and have some food and fun before going home to my hell. On the hot days I would cool off and on the cold days I would warm up at her house. We also had piano together and would practice many afternoons. Margie made mac-n-cheese with the velveeta kind of cheese, waffles with pecans and TAB soda to drink. Her mother bought coconut chocolate chip cookies all the times because she thought her girls loved them. Truth was I was the one eating them every afternoon. It was such fun being at Margie’s house with her and her sister Cammy. Our sleepovers were fun as well.

 Some other folks might be
A little bit smarter than I am
Bigger and stronger too
Maybe
But none of them will ever love you the way I do
It's me and you
And as the years go by
Boys, our friendship will never die
You're gonna see
It's our destiny
You've got a friend in me...

~Toy Story~

After graduation we both got married, with me living in Phoenix and her living in Albuquerque. Our lives have been intertwined ever since. Margie and Duane got married on December 10, 1983. I called Margie in March 1986 to tell her about Jenn being born and she told me she was pregnant. Rochelle was born on December 10, 1986. I remember the call and how shocked Margie was to have a baby on their anniversary and we both laughed. It was even funnier when I had Heather on December 10, 1987. It could not have happened this way if we planned it to happen.

One trip back to Farmington many years and kids later, Margie and her two kids and me and my three kids met at McDonald’s, had lunch and then went cemetery hopping. Yes, being from a small town you go back and visit the two cemeteries. It was an afternoon of laughter and memories. Fast forwards many years and Margie and I are eating lunch at KFC, well, I ate she drank and our chats sometimes turned to funerals and death, only this time it hits home almost as hard as Heather’s death as I feel like another part of my past, my FAMILY is slipping away. 

You make me smile...