Find Out Who Your Friends Are....

“You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are”

 http://www.cmt.com/videos/tracy-lawrence/160946/find-out-who-your-friends-are.jhtml

Heather was an amazing friend to people she knew and to total strangers. She was there for one friend who had a son in the hospital for a few days. She visited and brought food even offered to stay so the friend could go shower and get some rest. Heather was the type to offer food to the guy on the street asking for food. She loved everyone and often times got hurt because people who would use her would take advantage of her kindness.

Heather met Jolleane at Target at Tempe Marketplace. They seemed to hit it off right away. Heather spent lots of her free time with Jolleane. When Jolleane lost her place to live Heather had her come stay several nights in our home. We were even trying to make a plan to have her stay with us 3 nights a week and then she could stay with someone else the other nights. We welcomed her into our family and Heather loved her dearly. She considered Jolleane to be one of her best friends.

(These posts from Heather’s MySpace)

January 21, 2008 Current Mood: Blessed

Hope Floats

I just SO relieved that my best friend in AZ Jolleane finally has a place to live! It’s been an up and down battle to get her back on her feet. It’s been sad to see how much we need each other in life. That you find out who your friends are in times of need. I'm glad I've been able to be there for Jo and show her that God has the best plan and for a reason. Seriously, God is working this time! She, as of tonight has a place to stay! With someone I'd never even thought of but worked great. So... praise God! So when you find yourself at the beginning, just look up.. you'll see hope floats !!!

"This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off..."

May 20, 2008 Current Mood: Betrayed

Lessons in Leaving

As most of you know, I have two myspaces. I began to wonder if it was still necessary with me not being at work and not needing to separate work and personal anymore for a while. Then, I realized, no... keep it. I still have a lot of friends on my other one that don't understand that whole faith thing. You know, Jesus and that God stuff as some of them might call it. Especially my friend, who I thought was one of my best friends. We've hung out at work and outside work a lot. Everyone kind of started to think we were connected at the hip. I've been there for her through all her living situations, family situations and everything that she's been through the past almost year. The moment I hear of something that happened I was right in my car and over with her. But now that I need her, the way I was there for her, she's not here.

Its been almost 6 weeks since I started with my cancer journey and chemotherapy and she has been up three times total to visit. My second hospital stay, she told me she'd visit three times in a row and never came up. Finally I stopped asking. Back and forth we've written emails and she says how much she loves me and says I'm being strong. She tells me that she's having a hard time accepting everything. Her grandma had leukemia and died and that's why she can't deal with everything going on. She says, "I'm selfish I know" and says that she just can't do it. But what she doesn't realize is that, her grandma also had lung cancer, and continued to smoke and was 40 years older than me! This was almost ten years ago. The Medical treatments have come a LONG way since then. It just hurts so deep that a friend of mine, just because I have cancer, can no longer be my friend. I was dealing okay with it until she posted a blog on her page. I feel like all she wants is attention and "I'm the victim" badge. But in her blog she states that, her best friend has cancer, the same as her beloved grandmother, and that I left her. She doesn't blame me because she brought it on herself. But tell me one thing, how did I leave her?? I haven't gone ANYWHERE... I'm still HERE. Right HERE. I'm not going anywhere and I haven't said anything to tell her that I am. She was supposed to call me yesterday and never did. It’s a two way street.... and I'm sick of driving down it to find a dead end. I just don't understand her reasoning. All she can focus on is when I'm better. Of course don't you know, it's all about her.

So my lesson in leaving...Don't leave a friend, your best friend, your sister, your mom...etc.... don't leave a friend just because YOU can't accept cancer...or them with cancer.... they didn't ask to have cancer....they didn't ask to be sick.... so put your big girl panties on and be a friend!

I tried on several occasions to contact Jolleane myself when Heather was first diagnosed with cancer. Jolleane said she would come and promised to text but she never would. It was too difficult for her to handle. I have never ever seen anyone treat their so called best friend this way. She completely shattered Heather with a message saying that she was not strong, she just could not be there for her and she had to walk away. This made Heather cry and hate her cancer even more than she already did. Heather felt she was a big green monster that glowed in the dark with fangs and ooze. What Jolleane did just made her feel that it was really true. Most people want to help and want to be there. Jolleane tried to get back with Heather after treatments were over. Heather was beginning to communicate with her again when she got sick again. I received a text from her the day Heather died asking if she could come see her and say goodbye. I was not so nice. I told her no…she did not share in her life there was no way she would be allowed to share in her death. This was for friends only. I ended by telling her she was not welcome to come to Heather’s funeral either. Jolleane apologized for upsetting me but I never heard her once say she was sorry for being a jerk and the worst friend ever. Jolleane still has on her Facebook that Heather is her best friend and she loved her dearly. I wish that Jolleane would be a stand up woman now and tell the world that she turned her back on the best friend in the world when she had cancer. If it sounds awful it is because it is awful….

"Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then..

When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?"