Bitter and Sweet...

"It didn't feel like the pain

had weakened over time,

Rather that I'd grown strong

enough to beat it".

~Bella Swan~New Moon

One of the happiest memories I have of Heather is right before her 16th birthday when we brought Mr. B.B.Bunnykins (Mr. B) home. Heather had a live bunny in her Kindergarten class in Minnesota. She has begged and begged for a live bunny for years. That day as we walked into PetsMart, the eyes of a very sweet Mr. B grabbed Heather and would not let her go. Mr. B had been an Easter gifts for someone. Whoever had him figured he was too much trouble or flat out didn't want him any longer and released him into a park. He was found hiding under some bushes having been chased by 2 big dogs. So this sweet, beautiful brown eyed bunny came to live with us. The first night he was with us he suddenly flopped to his side and Heather thought he was dead. When bunnies are very happy they flip to their sides to relax. This trick we call "dead bunny". Mr. B stayed in Heather's room for about 4 nights till he was deemed too noisy and moved to the family room. Mr. B comes out into the family room and loves to have his nose petted. He is also very big into foot petting. Meaning you can rub your feet all over him and he will lay down and enjoy it.

Mr. B's beautiful brown eyes

Obviously when Heather died, Mr. B became even more special at least to me. I have been giving him some extra love and treats since. About 2 weeks ago I noticed that he was having trouble with his back legs. Like he was losing control over them. I took him to the vet and she told me I had presented her with the ideal model of a perfectly healthy bunny. Due to his age of 7 1/2 yrs and the fact that it comes and goes, she told me that in her best medical opinion Mr. B has a brain tumor. She told me that until it was effecting his quality of life that he could stay at home. Once he was in pain, not eating or drinking it would be time for me to think about putting him down. Just like kids..I brought him home and we have had no issues really for over a week. Last Thursday, Mr. B began to have major problems. He has begun flipping uncontrollable in his cage. Flipping litter and things all over. He is losing control of his balance and back legs. His eating has slowed as well. Saturday I thought for sure that Monday I would be taking him in to be put down. While he is not cured..this episode for now seems to be over. He is staying in one place and we all feel that he is really looking for a place to die. While it does not look like Monday is the day, this will be coming in the very near future. While Mr. B is just a bunny, he was Heather's bunny and she loved him very much. Just another way that life is moving on.

Heather and Mr.B

 Do animals go to heaven? I believe the answer is yes they do. God did create the animals and they are very important in Biblical history. He knows that animals give us great comfort here on earth. I really can not imagine heaven without them. I have no Biblical basis for this, but believe in my heart that Mr. B will be with Heather soon. I am sure that some people will not understand this in any way, but planning on having Mr. B cremated and keep him for now. Someday it may be time to place him somewhere. But for me right now, this is the right thing to do.

Mr. B out sitting on the blanket I made Heather

That is the bitter part and now for the sweet....last year for Heather's birthday all I wanted to do was to curl into a ball and be left alone. This year I could not see doing the same thing. Even though that is what I really want to do (almost everyday). Heather would not want me to do this year after year. She would want me to move forward. Heather wanted to help people. She would give or do anything for anyone. With Heather's giving heart in mind I have wondered what do I do, where do I fit into doing something to remember Heather and benefit the community as well. 

I am proudly announcing the launching of "Are U Pink?" The first event is the 1st Annual Heather's Birthday Blood Drive to be held on December 11, 2010. This began a few days ago as an event to remember Heather and now it is becoming so much more. I am beginning the paperwork to Incorporate and then going for nonprofit tax exempt status.  When Heather died I thought I wanted to work with the Leukemia/Lymphoma Society. But it seems to me right now this is a death sentence. I need to focus on life. So..Are U Pink? will focus on blood drives, getting people to register with the National Bone Marrow Registry and educating the community about blood cancers. My goal with the 1st blood drive is 150 units of blood donated. My lifetime goal is to have 10,000 units of blood donated over the years. I am very excited and feel this is a direction for me to move forward with. It is a way to remember Heather and bring life saving blood and info to the community.

Amazing logo

I have purchase a web domain name and will be launching the website soon. I am currently working on becoming incorporated in the State of Arizona. All the paperwork is confusing and time consuming. But I think in the long run it will be well worth my time and energy right now. I feel deep down inside that this is the beginning of something big. I have designed an amazing logo that will be on all our work. It is a butterfly, which means life. The top wings are lime green for lymphoma and the bottom ones are bright orange for leukemia. The body of the butterfly is the blood droplet in pink. Heather's favorite color, pink. By the way...Jenn might have mentioned the are you pink when I was talking to her. So only fair that I give her a few kuddos...The logo is copyrighted, so please do not use without permission first. For now, check out the Are U Pink? FaceBook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Are-You-Pink/140598922625478?ref=sgmhttp: