New Beginnings...

So far the last week of 2013 and the first week of 2014 have been very exciting weeks and full of changes. It began with an email I received from a woman looking for her husband’s birth mother. She found me and there were a few things that sounded like I could be the one. I sent her back an email and told her NO!! I was not the woman she was looking for. We exchanged a few emails and I thought that was the end of it. Well she emailed me again and this time just accused that I was the birth mother and was covering up for some reason. So, for the record let me state that I DID NOT have a baby boy in 1981. I have many classmates that will back this up that I was never pregnant nor was I absent from school for a long period of time. I also would NEVER under any circumstances giving away a baby that I had had given birth to. I had three babies, one in 1986, one in 1987 and one in 1990!!! PERIOD!! end of story. This woman had pushed me to the point of possibly getting some kind of restraining order against her because I find her so offensive. Does she think for one minute that if I had given up a child that when Heather died I would not go looking for that child? I am not my mother’s daughter and I don’t treat birth children like crap.

 A couple days after Christmas the Shannon and Coombe families went to Williams to ride the Polar Express. It was a wintery fun time and Nana Rose came with us too. We ate dinner once again at the Route 66 Café and then headed over to the Grand Canyon Railway. I stopped to take a couple photos of the sign with the holiday light at nights. (In 2011 our family took the first ride on the Polar express and took some of Heather’s ashes with us. We placed them in the ground under the “C” in the Grand Canyon Railway sign.) It was a very warm feeling knowing that Heather was there.

When we returned we had two days to get everything moved out of the living, dining, family and computer rooms before carpet came in on December 30^th. This would be the final portion to redo the flooring on and the entire downstairs would be new. The weather was good so we were able to place some furniture outside. I had done a good job of cleaning out and getting rid of many things before we began moving things.

The old carpet came up very quickly and was really not that bad considering it had been down for nearly 20 years. The glue that held the padding down had turned to dust and that came up very easily as well. It was amazing to see the rooms transform as the new carpet went down. For the family and computer rooms the change was not that big as it had lighter carpet in those rooms to begin with. The biggest change came with the living and dining rooms as the blue carpet was replaced with a neutral beige/tan color.

I had been to the antique store on Sunday and found a vintage shelf with four shelves of glass and wrapped in metal vines and porcelain roses. I knew it was perfect the instant I saw it for Heather’s teacups. I bought it and in the transportation home it fell and broke 8 out of 12 roses. I began looking online and found a wedding bouquet designer that makes porcelain roses. I contacted her with my story of the shelf and what it was going to be used for. I was shocked when she emailed me back right away that her daughter had died also. We were walking the same road nearly the same amount of time. Her adult daughter died in March 2009 and Heather in April. We are working together to get the roses redone. It will look amazing once they are all here. 

new shelf

Shelf placed in the corner

I also needed to fill the hole that was left by Heather’s piano. That was the real reason that I went to the antique store was to look for two winged back chairs for the front window. None were there and for a few days the hole was there. But lucky there is a new furniture store in town and we stopped there to take a look. The light shown down and I found the perfect chairs. They are Lane recliners but with the look of a vintage winged back chairs. I also bought a small end table to go with the two chairs. I have no words to describe how amazing the front window looks now. Where once the grand piano was the center focus of the room, now sits two chairs, a table and a lamp. It completes the room in an amazing way and it feels sooooooo good. Heather would be so happy to go and sit or talk on the phone in there. It is the best feeling space in the whole house now.

Something missing

it feels good!!!

New chair and new sheers

I am going through lots of buckets and dressers and beginning the work on the upstairs. Now that the downstairs is finished I need to begin on the upstairs. We will be doing our master bedroom first and then the three rooms down the hallway. I am in a good cleaning out mood so now is the time to do this. Now sure how long this feeling will last. I may manage to go through Heather’s things again and get rid of some more.

Speaking of Heather’s things, I managed to send off the squares of Heather’s clothes that I cut in 2009 to Campus Quilts and had Jenn and Wendy’s quilts made for Christmas. It was very nice to have that project completed and the girls now have their memory quilts as well. They turned out beautiful.

The Galusha-Luna Family

The Shannon Family

People come into your life at different times and seasons. One such person is Kira Hamill. I knew her as a baby as Derek’s daughter. We lost touch and met up with her and her husband many, many years later. Kira shares many similar qualities that Heather had. The biggest one being that that were born the same year and they are both the middle child. Kira can shoot a gun with the boys and turn heads as she dresses up and looks stunning. Last year Kira was pregnant and I had hoped to help with her baby shower. It looked as if I could not help and suddenly the whole thing was mine. This was the jungle shower I had last January right before surgery. Lil Miss Aria was born two days after surgery. I cannot explain it but I feel there is a special bond or spirit between Kira and me.

I know that Kira is not Heather nor do I want her to be. Kira is Kira and Heather was Heather. BUT… for a brief moment I get a small hint at what life could have been like for Heather if she had gotten married and had a baby. I love babies and all of my nieces knew that Aunt Sherry loved the babies and they loved Aunt Sherry. I just treat them like my own. I just have a way with babies.

Kira’s husband’s schedule changed at work beginning this week. In the middle of December I received a call and was asked if I would watch Aria three days a week for about 5 hours a day. I thought about it…Aria came over and nothing had changed, I loved her as much now as I did the first time I held her the day she was born. Aria in the two times we visited in December would hug all over me and would hold onto me not wanting to go with her momma or her daddy. This warmed my heart so much. So this week, for about 5 months, I will be watching Aria Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. For a brief moment in time I have this beautiful little girl in my world. I know she is not Heather’s baby and is not my granddaughter, but she is a hint of what one could have been like. She is such a happy and sweet baby girl that I have the privilege of having in my world right now. A few people have asked me how I could do this when I have my free time, all I have to say to that is come visit and meet Aria and you will know why. Fran came over Monday and fell head over heels in love with her. For a small moment in time, I have a closer look at what life could have been like.

Aria Nicole

This year begins the last few months till we hit the 5 year anniversary. Boy that came fast. I look back and I do not know how time went so fast and I really feel like I have nothing to show for 5 years other that being 5 years older. I got jump started in the middle of December and began working on the manuscript for Confessions of a Grieving Mother book. I am pleased to announce that the book is finished and is currently being edited. I will begin working on the photos that will be going into this book. My hope is that I can get this book released before the April 20^th anniversary. The book is 44 chapters, 419 pages currently and contains 144,021 words. It has two dedications one to Heather and one to Margie, a preface, an introduction and ends with an epilogue. I am beyond pleased with this book and hope this book will help many grieving people around the world.

I hope your year is off to a good start. The posts here will be more as I am finished writing the books for now. Stay tuned to see what this year brings.