When God Created Grieving Mothers...

 I wasn't going to post again so soon but I had something hit me last night that I felt needed to be shared today, Mother's Day. I have never considered myself to be a writer, but the past 5 years has taught me that maybe I am good at expressing my thought and feelings. I have been writing my journey in a public setting for quite some time now. I am still amazed that anyone reads my ramblings at all.

When we first began our journey thought cancer, we all thought that maybe a book about how to handle cancer might come out of all of the trials we endured. We took photos and I tried to document the ups and downs of just what we were going through. Then my journey changed into that of grieving mother. I have tried the best I can to share my thoughts and feeling along this most difficult journey. 

I have looked for true stories about cancer with your child and the death of a child. Honestly there is not much out there. At least not written by someone having experienced the actual journey. Lost of books written by doctors and therapists but most of them have not actually lived the journey. 

I am pleased to announce that last weekend (with the computer help from Bill to create the covers) I began working on the first of two books. I am going to submit to several publishers and just see if anyone is interested. But if not I will be self publishing these two books.

The first book is entitled My Porcelain Doll and is the story of Heather's cancer journey till her death. Most all of this is written in the form of the CaringBridge journal I wrote during this chapter of our lives. Currently I have the title, dedication, acknowledgements, table of contents and have completed the first six chapters. At the current moment there are 6 parts with 30 chapters in this book. It seems to be coming together very well.

The second book is called Confessions Of A Grieving Mother. This will begin with a slight overview of Heather's death and funeral and then focus on how to survive day to day without your child. I was brutally honest with my posts and now looking back I think it is just what needs to be said for the world to read. I will keep you posted as to how these books are coming, but so far so good and I am really pleased with my two new projects.

I am not sure what prompted me to write this but it just seemed to come and felt good when I finished it. I hope you enjoy reading my original writing on When God Created Grieving Mothers.    

When God Created Grieving Mothers

One day God looked at His heaven while walking with a sad look on His face. He turned to an angel and said “there were too many adults in heaven. It is too serious and stuffy here.”

The angel replied "what do you mean?"

God told the angel "there was no laughter at the simple things, no child like faith in things unseen or childlike wonder as to why butterflies fly."
The angel replied "how do you fix a problem like this?"

God hung His head and sadly announced "that babies, children and teens as well as young adult just in the prime of life needed to join everyone in heaven."

The angel stood there shocked and finally asked, “how will you choose the ones to come home early?”

God said it was simple, "the ones who seem to be an angel on earth, the ones with gentle spirits with true love towards everyone they meet, the ones with a pure heart and absolute faith in God."

The angel frowned when he asked "how will they be brought back to heaven again so quickly?"

God replied there are accidents, illnesses, just not able to survive for a long time and cancer; that can be the big one to take out kids of all ages.”

The angel feeling very sad asks “which mothers would get the special loaner children? Shouldn't she know she will only have that child for a short time?”

“No,” God replied, “these mothers need to treat these kids like any other kids. Love and play with them but also discipline them, no different than normal kids. These kids don’t want to be wrapped in a bubble and kept safe, they want to experience life. But if a mom is looking with her heart, she might be able to see a hint of angels wings when her child is around.”

The angel asked "how do we choose what mothers to give up their babies?”

God said “I will choose this mother, that mother and these mothers over here. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it the best way she knows how. She will also have to have determination.”

“Determination?” questioned the angel, “is that a virtue?”

“Yes,” God said, “she will need it to survive the first few days after her child dies. The strength to continue each day in the light of her new changed life as ignorance, cruelty and prejudice comes raging all around her. Her will and determination will allow her to rise above such ignorant people. She will need the strength to stand alone, with a small group of mothers that understand. The loss of friends will be hard but the true long standing friends will understand and not try to change her.”

The angel beginning to understand smiles silently as God, hearing the unsaid statement assures the angel “yes I will be with her side by side every step of the way. Someday her reward will be rich for the ultimate sacrifice she gave…a beloved child.”