Lil Bit of This and That...

January 26, 2009----

Saturday we hit it back to the gym. We have gone 3 straight days now. Bill, Heather and I are quite the sight on the treadmills together. We laugh and run like Jim Carrey..we have fun. Then it is off to the whirlpool for some hot relaxing water. It has been a good time to de-stress for me. I am about 20 pounds from my goal weight. Last year added back a few pounds...wonder why????

This weekend and next week are very full and busy. We kick off Saturday with Violet's Baby Shower (at my house)..followed by a Super Bowl Party for Jenn's singles at church (at my house). GO CARDINALS!! Imagine the planning and food scheme that goes into having 2 parties back to back.. :) Monday will be a blood draw, Tuesday will be the dreaded IV chemo and steroids for 5 days and then finally Wednesday will begin the weekly appointments to see when Violet will be arriving.

Many things have fallen from my to do list...birthdays, anniversaries and specials days I have forgotten to call or send a card. I am deeply sorry for everyone I have forgotten the past few months. I may seem like my head is above water but most of the time I feel like I am treading water, trying to stay afloat. Getting 'back" into life is exhausting. I really do appreciate all our family and friends that have supported us. My lack of communication is being blamed ...on..." life sort of throw up all over me."

Amazing how different but yet the same life was just 4 short years ago; planning parties and hitting the gym. Two weekends ago I had a baby shower for a very dear special couple. They actually had the baby right after my surgery, a beautiful baby girl Aria Nicole. It was quite an honor for me to be able to give this shower. I love planning parties and maybe should do it as a living but then I wouldn’t like it anymore. I love this couple and was quite thrilled at the idea of being able to give her a baby shower.

The Super Bowl is this weekend and I have no plans. We are celebrated Snookie’s 4^th birthday this Saturday because of Jenn and Paz’s wedding next weekend. It is very difficult for me to believe that Snookie is 4 years old. It seems like yesterday that she was born and a tiny baby. I love Snookie more than my own life and would do anything for her. I love spending time with her. Just this last week I went by to see her before she went to her dad’s house. She was laying on me gently and playing with my hair. She is always telling me “I Love you Mimi” and I tell her “I love her more”, then she will say “I love you to the moon Mimi”. When I go to leave she tells me she will miss me. I love my little snookie so much. She is my whole world.

We take Snookie for Mimi/Papa date night each Monday night. The last Monday we had her we went to Panda Express for dinner (her choice). Papa took a photo of her. Here is their conversation:

Snookie: Who you sending my picture too Papa?

Papa: I am sending it to Mimi

Snookie: But she sees me all the time you should send it to someone who doesn’t see me all the time.

Snookie thinking: How about to Aunt Missy, it has been a long time since she saw me.

Snookie was 39 days old when Heather went into the hospital and she never saw her again. Try to explain to a child how someone who has photos with her is gone and Snookie won’t see Aunt Missy till she gets to heaven. There is no way for a child to understand that but even though Aunt Missy was only here for a short amount of Violet’s life, I really think that Violet knows her Aunt Missy.

This year we did not have a Super Bowl party, nor did we attend one. We spent the day shopping for me something to wear for the wedding next weekend which is difficult since it will be so cold and be an outside wedding. We also spent some time with two princesses; Snookie and Aria. Baby Aria is a week old and she reminds me so much of Violet. I have to say that not many babies are as beautiful as Snookie, but Aria is just as beautiful. She is so perfect and I had the best time holding and snuggling this precious little girl. Yes I can hold her as she is under the 10 pound weight limit. And believe me it takes no effort at all to hold a sleeping beauty!!  We came home into the 3^rd quarter and I feel like we are seeing the whole game in the last few minutes anyway.

Aria Nicole Hamill

I did very well with my surgery. I was completely drugged beyond words the day of the surgery. First the anesthesiologist gave me a little something to take the edge off and I don’t remember a thing from that. And then the recovery room nurses gave me phenagren when I didn’t ask for it and gave me a dose for a larger woman. I was supposed to be in recovery for 90 minutes and I was there for 2.5 hours and was still not awake when they put me in the truck to go home. All the meds I had to take around the clock kept me very sleepy for the first two days. The part that hurt the worst was my back from being bound so tightly to prevent bleeding. My 2 post op appointments have gone very well and I have one more this week. For right now I see the doctor every week. The most difficult issue for me is sleeping on my back only. I am a side sleeper and cannot do that right now nor for another 2 weeks. My back hurts from this and the tight sports bra I have to wear for added support right now. I am getting my strength back and plan to go back to the gym this coming Monday-tomorrow to walk on the treadmill at a very low speed and incline. It feels good to walk. But then walking makes my back hurt and then I have to sit down. I love my decision to have this surgery and have no regrets. Well, I have one regret. I was hoping that either as I was going under or as I was coming out that I might have a visit from Heather. I felt her with me every second, and I felt very calm and I had no issue with the IV at all. I know that was her keeping watch over me. I have a new understanding for just how bad Heather must have felt and how drugged up she was. I hate feeling this way and could not imagine feeling like this for 6 months.

surgery and sleeping

I did manage to go out to the cemetery on Thursday and change the winter stuff to Valentine’s Day stuff. It was a lot of work for me to do as I am not up to full strength, but it felt good to get this done. There was not much stuff out for Valentine’s Day, but I did manage to find heart flowers with rhinestones for the centers. It would be such a Heather thing to find. March will be decorated for Easter as Easter is the 31^st. This is very important to make sure I have the date of Easter right since it can be March or April.