The Huge Hole....

The year she got her piano-2004

Simply decorating the Christmas tree, easy right? Well not really when your child has died. We were lucky enough to have Heather for 21 years, which means I have many Christmas ornaments that belonged to her that are now homeless. I have all of Heather's baby ornaments; then I have several boxes of Christmas things that she purchased later in her life. Well, what do I do with them now?

H is for Heather

I have a tinsel tree that Heather bought her last Christmas that I usually put up that has several of her ornaments on it. Then I have her red tree-yes I bought her a red tree for her room many years ago. That one I put many of her very fancy ornaments on. I also bought a black tree that I have been know to put her fancy ornaments on it instead of the red one every once in a while. But this year these tress are staying in their boxes and put away along with her ornaments.

Just beautiful

Heather's Amy Grant piano music

the view from the stair landing

This year has been very tough for me to get into the Christmas mood. We decided to get new carpet for the remaining downstairs rooms and I had no idea when it would be in.  When we first ordered it we thought it would be here the week after Thanksgiving. So I waited. I did not want to put up trees to take them down and put them up again. Then the carpet was on back order and I could put up a tree. In the middle of all this the decision was made to sell Heather's grand piano. Yes!!! This was a long tough decision but I know she would want her piano played and not just sitting. I had a family come to the house to look at the piano-kind of mistake. Hearing the young girl with long blond hair playing the piano was heart breaking. I could barely stand it. They decided not to take the piano and I decided I could not have anymore people come to the house to look at it. That was just too painful. There is a place here in town that actually consigns pianos. The piano was picked up by the movers and taken to his showroom where currently it is waiting to be sold. 

moving begins-heart breaking to watch

the legs come off and it is turned on its side

carefully wrapped

moving the piano out the door

Of course this left a huge empty space in the front window of the living room. I see it when I go upstairs or downstairs. It was just there a huge hole. So I put up the big green Christmas tree. It was the tree Heather and I put up for 2008. It is not pre-lit so like in 2008, I strung 1800 lights on the tree. I placed it on the front window to fill the empty hole. It feels like it has always been there as this was where the tree went till the piano came. I know that new carpet will change the feel and look and I am hoping for a new look.

the empty hole

With all this going on it has been hard to get into the Christmas  mood. Tonight I finally put the decorations on the big tree in the front room. Carpet has been delivered to the installer and I got a call this week wanting to know of I wanted it before Christmas. I said NO! If I have to take trees down they stay down. So carpet is coming on December 30. This means that the day after Christmas the trees come down and the house has to be taken apart. 19+ years is a lot of things to move. Plus the fact that we cannot move one room into another room but we have to move four rooms of furniture, computers and TVs out.

all decorated

I have to admit this is the least amount of Christmas that has been put out-or not put out. No garland or stocking, no candy canes on all the doors. I just do not have the energy to put it up for a few days to take it down in a hurry. I am not sure what it feels like but it doesn't feel like the holidays. I do enjoy the trees and looking at the lights and being in the peace of the moment. Each year is different and that is okay. This year just happened to be an off year. Next year is promised to be different too.