I immediately sent Jenn and Paz my outrage in a text message
and they agreed. Then we began getting silly things with our messages but one
that they each sent me stuck out and I want to share that with you:
JENN: It’s a misuse of the concept
of joy. Joy is supposed to be unaffected by circumstances, yes, but you don’t
see in in the Bible say “Mary and Martha were mourning the loss of Lazarus with
joy.”
PAZ, then replied: “Upon finding
Lazarus in his tomb, Jesus told the people
around him that they all needed to
“let it go and let God.” Because Lazarus couldn't
have more than he could handle.” So everyone have joy.
have more than he could handle.” So everyone have joy.
I really appreciated their viewpoint and how many times
pastors abuse the word either by total stupidity of the use of the word joy or
their lack of empathy to the real side of cancer and major illnesses. There is
NOTHING nice about cancer, period!! Being the mom of a child with cancer I took
great offence at this.
JOY, REJOICE or REJOICING:
1. a deep feeling or condition of happiness or contentment
2. something causing such a feeling; a source of happiness
3. an outward show of pleasure or delight; rejoicing
When I was in high school we had a class that was a senior
requirement called “Early Adulthood.” It was a hands-on class to teach you how
to date, get married, get a job, live on a budget, etc. All the book knowledge
and fake play acting one needed to be prepared for adult life and all the
events that happened. Somehow I now think that class was lacking a few key
points. Some topics I think need to be added:
1. My 20-year-old daughter has
stage 4-blood cancer and how to survive
6 month of chemo, while the world moves on…
2. How to live 33 days while your
daughter is in ICU…
3. How to survive day to day after
your daughter dies and the world doesn’t
understand you now…
4. My husband had a heart attack
and died and now I am left alone with my
teenage son and how to survive
5. My husband has cancer now what
do I do?...
6. My married daughter with 3
children has ovarian cancer and so many
complications and how to survive over a year of surgeries and
treatments…
7. I woke up to find our infant son
dead in his crib, now what do I do?...
8. I had two children but my son-committed
suicide and my daughter was
killed in a car accident, am I still a mother?...
9. My son-in-law murdered my
daughter and my 2 grandchildren and then
blew up their house…
Each one of these things is true and happened in real life,
the life that no one prepares you for, and there is no joy in any of them. The
life that is fun and happy one minute and then can be crashing down around you
the next. When I got married and had my babies I never dreamed somewhere down
the road I would have a child with cancer and then have that child be in
remission and still die from complications. I didn’t ask for any of this but
yet I got a life makeover without my consent. No woman ever says, “I hope I get
to be a grieving mother someday.” When you are planning your future and babies
you never thing about what could happen 10, 20 even 50 years down the road to
your babies. Regardless of age they are always your babies and there is no joy with them having cancer nor in their death.
